Mobile Phone's Downloads N Blog Archives

This view and download page is specially created for all mobile phone users that are able to view 3gp video files and listen to amr audio files/ midis files on their mobile phone.  The files are so small that you can even MMS, bluetooth or even infra send to your friends!! To preview these files on your pc, you must have programs that support viewing like Nokia multi media player, or real player or QuickTime 6.4 or higher.  If not, just download the file into your pc and transfer to your mobile phone and enjoy!!!!  This page also contains archive of past blog entries of Steven Lim!!! 

How to download and transfer to your mobile phone???

Step 1     Right click on the link and select save target as to save it to your pc.

Step 2     Transfer to your hp by cable, bluetooth or infra red.

Audio Files of Steven Lim (.amr)  

1. welcometomobilephonedownloadpage.amr - Steven Lim 's recording welcomes you to download page!! (19kb)

2. rubbish.amr - Steven Lim's casual conversation with his female friend (Mandarin) (37.7kb)


Audio Files (MIDIS) (.mid)

1. liuxingyu.mid - F4 song! (2.15kb)

2. pinkpanther.mid - pink panther (4.58kb)

3. qishijingshen.mid - Jolin's song! (3.90kb)

4. guanhuaifangshi.mid - Singapore's popular ballad (4.74kb)

5. qiannuyouhun.mid - nice!!!! (2.70kb)

6. bandianxin.mid - Grasshoppers' famous song!! (24.3kb) (make sure ur hp is of 64 chords)


Video Files (.3gp) *if you want more real funny videos with high resolution, visit Exciting Videos and Audios page.  Those are really exciting,  I tell u; that you will even laugh till your denture flies out*

1. kungfustevenlim.3gp => funny action steven lim (90.8kb)

2. happybirthday.3gp => happy birthday MMS video for anyone! (31.1kb)


If you have any interesting audios(.amr), midis(.mid) or videos(.3gp) to share with the world's mobile phone users, pls attach your files and email to and we will be delighted to put them up in this page for downloads.

Past collections of Blog Entries by Steven Lim


Always in my Memory- My Kawasaki Ninja ZX11 (1100CC)  永在怀念中 - 我的重型机车

This is an urgent n important notice.  My super good conditioned Class 2 Kawasaki Ninja ZX11 has just been sold to a very very nice gentleman  on  10th March 2008.  Hi, Kor if you are reading this.  Very nice to have met you!  He even treats me to tea n Kaya Bread when we were trapped in the rain in AMK Hub.   No words can describe my current feeling.  I lost a very good bike instead.   I feel so disgraced to ride a class 2B bike right now.  I want to dig  a big hole! Life is like that.  Cars laugh at bikes, Big bikes laugh at small bikes.  Surely riding Hayabusa and Goldwing  are real prides.  But once something needs to be repaired, bye bye money.  Those kind of money can used for buying other stuffs, watching 90 weekend movies  and do shopping lor!  Trust me, I always secretly laugh at people riding tiny waves.  Now this is my turn to be laughed by Big bikes.  I want to die!! I m at least once known as the famous biker of Singapore, now i m riding Cub Kia!  Guys, die die get your Class 2 license no matter what at SSDC amk.  I one time pass.


Reason for selling of Class 2 bike:

1) Once something needs to be repaired, it dun come cheap.  (Within one week, $900 I kena one month ago.  Can buy one wave you know)  Change small small parts then the shop mark up so high for me.

2) Worried that it will be spoilt again.  Waste time waste money again.  Let me declare.  I hate to take public transport!  Why weekdays after midnight no MRT??  Cineleisure movie still open leh.  For you to choose, u will take MRT Or Taxi if both are available?

3) Petrol is high for Class 2 (15km/litre?)  Wave can do 50km/litre?

4) Always caught in a jam cause too big sized with the two big side box.  End up reach later than small bikes.  Supposed to be faster, end up reach later than wave. KNN)  Goldwing sure kena jammed like cars.  For what keep a big bike for practical reasons?  For show off n more stability (BUT big heavy bikes harder to skid if your tires are still good), still end up not very practical leh...


Bikes I have rode before: Phantom TA 150cc, Benelli Adiva 150cc, Kawasaki Ninja ZX400cc, Honda NV Custom 400cc, Honda Wave 110cc, Honda Goldwing 1500cc, Ninja Kawasaki ZX1100cc, now Phantom TA 150cc again     (according to timeline)  Damn it!  People upgrade, I downgrade.


Which bike I love best:  Honda Goldwing 1500cc (Pride)  Every Class 2 rider should aim to try this bike once in their lifetime.  Your Pillion guarantees to love it man!  Imagine a girl that dun dare to take bike, dare to sit in my Goldwing cushion chair.

Which Bike I like least: Honda NV Custom 400cc ( Old bike.  Total engine failure.  One thing spoilt, the rest follows)  Feel like cursing n swearing that time without a bike while it is in the workshop  ( 1 month still have not finished repaired.) Moral of Story, Old bike dun buy.

Best Value for Money:  Honda Phantom & yes, Honda Wave   Seriously, I dun like Honda Wave outlook.  Maybe they have their intended target audience.  I have seen plentiful construction workers, Malaysians, student, chefs own this kind of bike too.  Sporty Sparks looks very nice and faster I think but simple design Honda Wave is definitely the best bargain and saves you plenty of petrol!   If you are looking for something affordable but fantastic transport, do consider buying wave.

I downgraded because of practical reasons, although i m not happy.Now I have a class 2B bike, next time if you see me riding this small bike on the street.  Dun bother to call me.  Cos I will be so disgraced to say hi at you.  I will surely pretend you see the wrong person...Ke Ke....LOL!

二月 27  2008 by Steven Lim

Steven Lim哥哥说时光如箭。箭断了。。时间永不停得奔驰!他妈的。。。

巴西男女搏击, 女的获胜!

这句老话应该听说过吧?意示浅浅, 就代表女人都比较恨





喃喃叫。。。。被K 了。。可怜的家庭暴力就这样发生了。。。

搞到离婚收场。女的把罪全怪男的。。通常会离婚, 女的也要付


会WorldWar11..男的更烦!! 媳讲婆不好, 婆叫儿争取孩子扶养权。。最后小两口还是搬了出来。。有自己的家总



给我父母。 现在她已经2 岁了。。会说话 了。。。真的好聪明哦!!我真的怕我会嫁不出去。。唉。。你们不会相性的。

。我到现在还在拿红包。。我不贪亲戚的钱的。。可是他们给,我就拿楼。。开心最重要!!祝大家鼠年行大运!! =D




二月 20  2008

Steven Lim哥哥说食色性也 只要你是人你都会色!

可爱小孩与量体重机, 男女平等!

你会问 “哥哥,为何这个话题?“ 因为我再也看不下去了! 有人说,男人不用爱就可以性。

女人要有爱才可以性。。我说不如放屁更好!更本就是bullshit(屁话)。 我认为男人和



的。性和食物一样。。被Marketing理论视为必需品(Needs)。无论男女,看到美食, 饥


水。这跟性需要相像, 食色性也

现在有一些女生开始不在像从前一样了, 开始玩一夜情, 换男友好像换轮胎一样,有的


都有可能可被告强奸非礼呀!以体形来看,女人强奸男的很不划算, 可能被扁一吨, 很难得逞,如果那男的真的不想要。。但如果男

的被处在落势。。那可就遭了!新闻报道过,女护士强奸男植物人。。好淫陷哦!!更离谱的事是女佣强奸婴儿, 害到鸡鸡变形。父母




拍照,有时候还是女生提议想拍我的哦。不要吓到!还有一次我在我最爱的前女友的电脑里面找到Keanu Reeves 的照片。 照片旁边

有个奇怪东西! 放大后原来是男的鸡鸡!既贴既除的鸡鸡! 她想收这个干嘛??!填补寂寞? 所以我们不能全都怪陈冠希拍照。

一个巴掌是打不响的 1。多数她们是自愿被拍的。  2。Who knows她们也有可能拍回。。只是问题被坏人搞到这莫大。

陈冠希好可怜哦,因为是男的被骂臭到臭头。在此,我提倡男女平等,谁都不能给占优势。 我希望冠希的戏份不要被删掉。我觉



二月 14  2008

情人节快乐!! Steven Lim哥哥恭祝个界永结同心!

Steven Lim 哥哥的2003情人节留影。

哈哈!又到了这个日子。。有人甜蜜, 有人愁。最可怜的是这一天分手。。我看过。。好怜哦。

因该是快乐和爽的一天。 我知道被人抛弃很不好受。我有被抛过,有辜负人过。有女生还用剪刀




常得快乐。来我家同居了2 个星期, 睡同一张床。至到她妈反对我和她来往。我们去JB探望她妈。

她妈竟然使出碑弊手段。她把她的户照抹收,还用木棍打她。 我非常心痛,我大喊住手!! 我错

了。。。那是我最后一次看到她了。。我们吹了。。。我在骑机车回去找她。 她妈报警, 还骗警


女友换了又换。现在ok 了!我期待下一个爱情的到来。我知道幸福在等我。。你是佛和我一样在等着白马公主王子的出现呢?相性我,



二月 11  2008

无论你们在和处,新加坡的Steven Lim 哥哥永远爱你!


非常的开心! 昨天我的聊天室来了很多中港台马的

支持者!他们都看了我支持 Edison及受害者的屏视。真





息! 我没有鼓励任何人自拍裸照!! 但我不容须任何人


下石的。  但不要无端端没经过友的同意就自拍啦!哈


人发现,记忆被人传播。。糟了。。! 这次掺了。。谁都不希望的!警察叔叔也来了。。部长伯伯也慌了。抓到6 个, 原来

还有Kira..不知道Kira 后面还有没有Sarah, 没完没了。新的照片不断发出,每个女人都心惶惶,不懂谁是下一部戏的女主



浪! 当我在52频道的台湾电视新闻看到我的时候,我妈吓了一跳! 我也跳了两下。。差点滑倒。我没恶意,不想害任何人,



03th February 2008

Beauty lies on the eyes of the beholders! My "live" cam chat fan says I m hotter than Vincent Ng!

Real evidence from my blog "live" web cam chat!

In case some of you never know, I have recently installed a webcam and a paid chatroom facilities in my blog.  The chatroom is 24 hrs.  For the "live" webcam, I will on my cam most of the time.  You could see me when i just woke up with my pyjamas, eating food, sipping soya bean milk, yawning, sneezing, reading newspaper, exercising and even when i m sleeping!  Guess not many Singaporeans dare to do that.  I m proud that perhaps, i may be the first Singapore blogger who has installed a webcam in his own blog to interact with his readers n supporters. Anyone can type anything in the chatroom. Having supporters are great!  They worshipped u like above and the feeling is great having somebody who likes ur videos n even the blog entries i have written. And even when i jokingly asked "Who is more hot? Me or Vincent Ng (TV actor)?" My supporters will surely say it is me, just to perhaps flatter me abit or make me happy.  Yup, Vincent is a good looker with a very defined body.  This i will totally put my hands up. But, I m definitely taller n bigger sized than him at 85kg.  Still can fight rite??  N i dun think I m that very ugly.  The pic above so nice rite???  Some people asked me why i dare to call myself the most handsome guy, must be so vain n super ego or super BHB.  Wrong Wrong Wrong! I believe a tagline/ title of website must be unique n differentiating from the rest of the blogs.  Guess it is working quite well.  Some of the bloggers interestingly wrote about me as the most handsome guy in the world. Eg.  You know that Steven Lim, the most handsome guy in the world lor ( in sarcastic tone) ..they will funny!  I met some nice people in my live chat room.  Some really gave me really good advises n bring me smiles when i need one.  You know, people, supporters give u the extra mileage n reasons to carry on with life.  One day if i die, I hope that the chatters that i have chatted before will come visit my funeral n send me goodbye.  Done nothing really fantastic in my life.  Screwed up some great  n my biggest chances a couple of years ago.  Think of it, i still feel so hard to bear.   And I felt really disappointed with the Commercial Affairs Department for investigating in an innovative and unconventional company (X Pte Ltd) that is doing so well without any formal consumers complaints on the company but only queries.  Till now after so many months, no news...  Now the 1st issue is,  they have extended the investigating period again.  I dun think this is the most appropriate thing to do to any companies in the world.  Imagine, a person opens a business who is doing so well, other people jealous, then the police come in and check.  The newspapers then do big coverage on the investigation.  How will it affect the company???  2nd issue.  Till now I and my friend are still using the excellent product provided by the company.  Why i say excellent because it is really excellent!  Imagine i give u 2000 mins plus local outgoing calls per month. You can even use the call system to call most of the places in the world! then the 2000 plus mins will be auto converted to the remaining call time you have for that country you are calling at no extra charges.  So good rite!!!  I sweared that it is so good that I even downgrade my original phone plan to a much lower phone plan to fully utilize the calling system.  Trust me.   My phone bill immediately cut by half.  Now, tell me, who says they dun have a real product?!  Can the CAD actually use the product to prove that me, as a end user of the product is not lying? I certainly believe CAD's true intention is trying to protect the consumers' interest.  This is a very noble task! Ya, but what about those who had already bought the products?  We are also consumers you know?  Refund to me is nothing.  I joined the company not just to get any refunds.  It is because i really voluntarily believe in the company and know i can derived great benefits from it.  NO ONE CAN FORCE ME TO JOIN A COMPANY!  But all I can say, all things look so well n blossoming for the company till the CAD came in.  A humble question to those officers that work in CAD, if i offer you $1000 monthly salary to do the things you are doing now, is money or salary an important factor to you?  Disclaimer:  All i say above is a genuine personal feedback about wat i feel and I do not represent any companies.   Cos I cannot believe I can be so unfortunate.  This kind of things can happen to me again and again...Buy this scheme, CAD come in.....Buy shares , stock market crashes...Shares I have buy left only about half the price...Damn sway lor..!  I really hope the CAD can come to a conclusion real soon and clear everyone's doubts including the reporters' be it good or bad.  I read forums about people which are not in the company making false accusations the company is scamming, even before the CAD reveal any formal investigation reports/ findings.  Why we never stop these people from doing so? Justice is great! One of my childhood dreams is to join the police force to catch the baddies and i personally salute all the police officers (uniformed or non) for their selfless dedications to uphold nation's peace and justice.  Thank you, SPF!


24th January 2008

Wanting to get married or want to remain single for life?

Pic on right shows two young lads finally got married, priest also glee with joy!

See this couple at a wedding is called you may kiss the bride. But the touching part about this wedding is when the priest said you may kiss the bride, the bride rushed to kiss the groom instead, very very affectionately. The guy's neck almost break by this generous move. People, this is love.  You do not need to let the guy tell u he loves you first.  If you really love him, nothing is gonna hold u back!  He is the guy that u decide to marry.  He is there. On your mark, get set, go rush to him right now before "He" disappeared again once more.  You see the priest are both touched n happy for the just married.  Wonder how many times he had done this sacred task already.  Our heavenly fathers above witnessed the joint of two different entities, bonded them together for life, two hearts beating as one.  I went back to reservist recently. most of my army mates all are married.  Some even brings very adorable kids to run around in the final parade with have.  I feel so startled at times.  "Are you married? kids?" I will ask them. Some will proudly say yes, " 3 years old already!"  Then, i realized I m 32 this year.... Damn! Super old sia..... Done nothing great in my life so far.  Rather keep disappointing my family n friends again and again.  N of cos, not super poor....but i always have dreams of retiring early. Ya, i m a bachelor and I m looking for a rich girlfriend/ wife.  There is one proverb which i find rather meaningful.  "Having a rich wife will lighten your workload for 10 years."  That is why I keep searching for that super rich girl who will take care of me.  I seriously dun mind being a househusband to look after the kids or something, certainly dun mind people calling me "eating soft rice"  Who cares about names calling if you can really live comfortably for the rest of your miserably short one life.  If you got a super rich gf or wife that can take care of you for the rest of our lives, everyday our job is to tour the world n shop shop shop.  For me, I dun shop. She can save that for hers.  Feeding me is so extremely easy.  Thus, I welcome all interested rich females to come forward to contact me.  My requirements is simple, RICH, PRETTY, CAR, MONEY, FOOD, HOUSE.  You must be saying I m a guy with no backbones.  Heck lah!  No wonder all guys die younger than the females.  All work so hard for the money, in the end the girls spend it all away.  Being a guy is super tiring sometimes have to handle all the burden of holding the family together...Be a girl, must be pretty n sexy, if not seriously as good as  being a guy.  My younger brother was "forced" to get married.  I dun want to be like him to be in that situation.  But he is super responsible person in every way seriously n i have super respect for him.  He is an engineer currently, has a good wife n super super adorable niece of mine.  But seriously, he work so hard to keep the family together n all the income all channel into the household.  Seriously, i feel so heart pained for my young bro sometimes n to feel relieved i was not married yet to feel all this stressful burdens.  My bro is seriously a good man n i prayed that the company can see his dedications n treat him well.  Getting married is no joke.  You need lots of money n readiness n commitment, a good wife/ husaband.  Ya for my case, a rich girlfriend first at least of cos......Thank you.  My new year's resolution. =)




18th January 2008

My reservist Unit 608 SIR Standing down parade - Getting ready to MR.

Me shaking hands with my superior officer to receive the certificate of Appreciation.  He also very happy he is going to MR soon.  I love u guys!   You  see the guys behind laughing so happily. LOL!

Before I start this entry..I need to seriously exclaim this.  Our Singaporean Army is one of the most comprehensive n high tech army in the South East Asia.  Our air force also top the chart in this region.  We are well-trained to eliminate any hostile invaders that disturb the peace n cohesion in the region n vouch to defend our Singapore till to our last drop of blood.  Every Singaporean Male/ Citizens are required to serve their their national service (NS) upon turning 18.  It is legislative and anyone can be charged in court for not serving.  Those who disobey superior orders or rude to superiors will be court martial n may have the chance to go to Detention Barracks and your hair will be shaved off like a criminals, and the strenuous training in DB will make you this life unforgettable.  I still remember one of my platoon mate scold his seargeant chee bye for punishing him doing push up just before ippt test chin up n he spitted on the ground.  He LL served the DB.  I m starting to love the food in army.  So yummy n healthy.  Got all meals, breakfast, lunch and dinner n sometimes supper if got night training.  Got even tom yum soup!!!!! n many many fruits!!!  I m super unhappy SAF reject my application to be a soldier recently.  Is it i m too old to join??  I really keen in joining the OCS leh.  if it is the case, i must blame myself for not joining earlier.  Army pays well, give u food with a standard compensation scheme that will not lose out to any of the private sectors.  They also give u free exercises n stuff.  Wake you up to do morning run, SOC and ippt.  I personally hate the SOC.  I will wet in my pants before any SOC run.  Standard Obstacle Course is the most strenuous thing I have done in my NSF life.  Everyone curses n swear it! Even today, i think of it, i dun want to think about it.  Hear the SOC name, my leg will tremble.  But army got its pluses, u meet people from all walks of life.  Some are very crazily on the ball, some run away from arrows, some hide in toilets during arrow shooting.  I admit I m those crazily on the ball most of the time because they paid me to do national service, so i have no much complaints.  But if the exercises are getting so tough n killing, I will really curse n swear the mountains and enemies we are climbing and "killing".  Yes, I was from Infantry but turned guardsmen i supposed.  I m now moving to Military reserve...From my knowledge, if really war erupts, the younger and fitter ones will go first to defend.  We are the reserve batch to be mobilized.  I will kill any enemies, bayonet them, put a bullet thru their head who try to invade our country, take our property or rape our women!  Yes, I m in combat unit n i m super fit.  I strongly urge all young SIngaporeans to join the army now! dun waste your time outside....If you want to own a house of ur own fast, buy a decent car, have a stable income, save lots of money, good food, free lodging, SAF is definite your choice..... JOIN NOW!

12th January 2008

We are all animals and we kill other animals to feed ourselves.  We are really cruel!








Cute tail wagging Puppy and PussyCat watching TV and my lousy ippt result!!!



Face it, people!  We n all other animals with hands n legs the same....We are all animals!!  I dun care about other scientist saying we are high-intellectual mammals.  We are all the same!!!  I strongly believe all animals do have emotions and temper.  I believe a penguin will laugh loudly at another bird who fall flat on the ground.  The dog will frown if another dog stare at him and will stare him back like a human beings.  And will fight if another dog try to seduce his or her partner.  It is just that nobody take the effort to teach them how to read and talk when they are born!  Yes..i certainly believe any animal can learn to talk and call you "Mama or Papa".  Since a baby can start yakking rubbish to converse in a full conversation, we should actually try teaching our pets to talk.  They will want to tell u how much they love you.....!  The best part is we even kill and eat animals.  Just like how a lion will catch n kill and eat his prey.  Guess how many cows n chickens we have killed every single day to feed all of us here..  How many ducks n pigs screaming in pain before death, with their heart still beating....thinking how come the thick blood will run out from the slit from their own bodies.  We are terrible aren't we?  Animals are not stupid.  They cried n yelled when they know they are going to be slaughtered.  They have cognitive ability comparable to human beings.  Wat will the world be like if we are the reared ones and are raised just to be part of a delicious cuisine.  We are no difference from any creatures.  See the terrier, it is so cute.  Trust me...this little fellow surely have greed for food n lust, like human beings, cos only animals have all basic emotions.  Wat if the cat is the ruler of this world, and his favorite food is human beings.  we are held in a prison hoping to be the last one to be picked to died..One by one, we are grabbed by the arm of the butcher.  Chop Chop Chop n become food for a cat.  This worst case scenario I hope will not happen.  We can never be kings forever.  We once used to be cavemen that only know how to "eh eh ah ah wu wu" till we invented communication skills.  We go dating, have dinner together n also encountered copulation along the way.  The animals have their own way of finding their soul mate, connect and love together, show a move or two.  Thus, kindly treat all animals with respect and equal.  No animals owe anyone their living.  If they happens to be in our food chain, just give them a easier n less painful death.  God bless...

Extra Comments: Last Year never train 2.4km run still can get silver.  This year never train, fail the test.  I m so stupid!  Screw up my very last ippt test!  Big disgrace! I have received an army letter saying I m not liable for any IPPT and Mobilisation practices/exercises after March. No more e-mart credits.  =(  No more seeing my old friends from army again. The food served now in army are excellent and extremely healthy.  Can you imagine, fish and chips dinner or chicken wing dinner (with little oil of cos)?!  We all received a Hamilton watch with our name specially craved on it to celebrate this final moments.  POP,  ORD is nothing.  This is the real deal.  The deal of getting old.  Double =(     608 SIR, u will all rock in my heart!

4th January 2008

Singapore's favorite Pioneer Comedian Actor, Jimmy Nah AKA MC King Dies Suddenly!










M C King seen here happily with well known actor Thomas Ong and FM100.3 well-liked radio host, Ye Li Mei. Moments treasured by good friends shall now only be kept in memories. Pic's source: MC King's Blog.

I was very shocked when someone MSN me that  M C King had died.  I cant believe it at all at first.  He is not that old yet (40s??) and he always appear to be very cheerful n youthful on TV.  I always keep wondering how come celebrity can keep their radiance for so long.  Till i read hardwarezone forums and channel news asia that he has really departed!  He has complained of breathing difficulties before rushing to the hospital.  Can you all believe life is so short???  One moment a person is here, the another moment he may be somewhere else n never return.  Just like our fathers and mothers.  We should really start to treat them really good from now on.

Just my opinion on this great comedian actor.  He is considered a pioneer on TV.  He has acted in many many dramas and seriously has his share of fame before. He mentioned in his blog saying he is not famous, I really doubt so.  Just that we have our ups and downs.  This is life!  Who does not know about M C King. Till now, I still can remember his funny scene with another guy at a hair salon laughing acting along with Do Do Ding Ye (Yan LiBing).  That scene was so funny and the images always appear in my mind.  I also remember him acting as a low-IQ guy in another drama.  His acting is superb I tell you and very convincing.  People does not feel that he is acting but really a real life character in the show.  I was alot younger then and me n friend always find him a very funny man, and we waved at him.  He waved back. That younger time when we meet him on the street and we feel very happy can see him.  I believe in reincarnation.  If he has a next life, I believe he will again bring laughers n his exciting acting to people again.  All i can say, Singapore has lost a very very great actor.  To many, a great friend.....


December 2007


3 pieces of evidences click here:

Evidence 1   Evidence 2    Evidence 3

Updates!!!! S wrote an letter of apology to Steven for her actions!  This is very admirable n nice gesture!! Kudos to S!

Click here for the letter









25th December 2007  2146hrs:    Merry Xmas Everyone & Happy New Year!!!!






Hey everyone......!!!! Today is Xmas Day??  How are all of you???  Hope you are fine!  Today i m lazy to go many people in orchard!!! Squeeze here squeeze very irritating.  I was in Orchard last night and people purposely keep pushing me to go forward.  Some young punks lah....Fookers sia!  They want to move forward n want to sabo me to push the infront people.....Bet you met this kind of people before right?  And they use their body keep banging me.....Arrrgghh!! Angry lah... I stared at them....i m right...punks!  Orchard on Xmas eve says the phrase pack of sardines.....There are caroling n events at almost every shopping mall in Singapore...The onlookers are not only locals but also sudden surge of travellers from all over the world.  I see Indians, Caucasians and Arabs....All want to see how Singapore celebrate xmas.  Let me vouch, Singapore is very beautiful this xmas........Lights nice...! like stars watching upon the birth of Jesus Christ.



It is a time for sharing..people doing last min shopping at the extended opening time of malls.  Nice.......I love xmas.  I fantasize about peace, dove flying and mistletoes and presents.  I saw an auntie every funny yesterday.  Walking around with full loads of shopping, like a penguin, quack quack. Then, penguin fails down. Ouch! funny....I want to laugh but i think she is alright ba....She falls down make me want to go to the Northpole n suntan over there....The sun should be very bright over there...hahah..



Santa Claus is officially out of job.  There are virtually no houses with chimney here in Singapore.   If he have to come in, he has to climb thru the windows.  Ya.. i saw on news saying there are a few "Santa Clauses" that surprise kids this way.  But too bad, these Clauses have bad intentions.  They are robbers!  They bring ropes n knives and rape guys and girls...So beware of these unexpected visitors this festive season....Memorable...



Just now i try playing with the is fun.....i self taught myself keyboard.  Not very good..but at least got some comes out. all dun know i can actually compose n write songs....serious!  I think i m good enuff....



People....hope you love me...i love you.....Regards, Stevie...muack!










9th December 2007  1700hrs:  Feedback for the government & Robberies experiences














Interview with gorgeous host, Estee with my model, Ylva.  Pic with big boss of NuffNang, Mr.Cheo Ming Shen (red Nike shirt)! And the rest of the other celebrity bloggers n of cos CEO of Activechannel, Mr. Todd Murray.  I guess he is more than a millionaire...He bought a house in Sentosa!  Very envious there are so many more richer people beside me.



Dear government,



I m a very loyal Singaporean that fully support the running party. You dun even have to guess which party i vote for in the election.  I m also a motorbiker for many years and I always like to do some shopping at City Square n makan at the prata shop near Mobil at JB.  The Prata is very nice and cheap and the Indians are very friendly and warm.  But, I simply could not understand how come the customs always jam for the motorcycle line.  Not little jam, jam like a long long long dragon all the way up the bridge.  The worst part is when I reach the jammed custom, it is "oh no" for me... Cant U turn and have to suffered the congestion and the most unbearable is many bikers still keep their engine on.  Since it is very congested, all the fumes all gathered around the area and wun dispersed. Imagine the jam could take up more than half and hour, it is so so smoky and the air pollution is really at its max.  We bikers seriously dun wanna die of lung cancer. We are like smoked ducks at the custom, sweating, smoky and more gates does not seem to open..



It will be great if you could kindly enforce a mandatory turn off the engine rules with some helpful leaders directing the motorbikers.  Trust me...With this turning off the engine rules, the painful journey of waiting will become more pleasant instantly.  Could u imagine???  Jammed already still very smoky....It is so terrible...Friday Nights and Saturday are really terrible...I really pity those customs officers in the box, they are not even wearing a oxygen tank mask..This kind of pollution should be kept to the mininal, as this is obvious hazardous cause to lung cancers..They are working hard, they should enjoy some healthier environment..So jammed..I believe this is the time Malaysians will return home..Especially Friday Night..Really can faint if you are a motorbiker on an anticipated trip to JB....If only, more gates can open....Will be more efficient rather than getting stuck with just a few gates.



My crazy friend told me that best join two foreign customs together into one...People needs to pass one custom since there are only arriving and departing.  Whoever side wants to tighten the security is also possible.  Checks also can be conducted. Security is very important  for sure and i really applaud the government for doing their part in national security.  Thank you.   Sincerely, Steven




Dear readers,



Cathy Movie tickets at city square is very cheap. Approximately around SGD$4.40  for every day I think.  I always go there and watch movie.  The theatre environment is almost the same as Singapore one.  Grand, comfortable seats.  Though just a bit troublesome to travel to JB.


JB is relatively a safe place now with more police petrol on the street, compared to 2 3 years ago.  I still remember a few years ago, I was on my honda phantom motorbike fetching my friend home to Singapore at the U turn overhead bridge towards the Malaysian custom.  A motorbike with two people on it approaching us from behind at an acelerating speed.  To avoid any collision, I do a little dodge to the right side when it almost speed past us.  But something happened, its passengers, a malay guy stretched out his right hand to snatch the handphone my friend was holding at his left hand.  The handphone so lousy still wanna snatch! Bad taste!



Luckily i did the dodge and my friend do a funny scream, ":Eeeyer"... and tugged his hand in.  But the scariest part is they tried to kick with their right legs to overturn my small bike.  Damn angry!! and i tried to kick their bike as well.  But we both missed luckily or we both will skidded.  This is our second time we encountered a robbery.  The first one in Kuala Lumpur, both our expensive handphones and few hundreds ringgits are all robbed and they left us something like 10 ringgits each person.  This is one story I will not dare to reveal fully to anyone ever, cos it is too embarrassing. Details cant mentioned sorry. Guys, remember, dont fall for pretty girls over  there easily.  It may be a trap! But i was crazy that time..I suggested to my same friend to went back to confront them to get back and beg to return us our SIM card which are very important. And i told him if they dun want to return, we will fight with them  But the 8 -10 guys denied anything and they grabbed the guy on the street that exposed them to us and they beated him till he cant recognize home and face all swollen and they invited us to go to the room...  No thanks..I afraid cant enter, cant come out..N my stupid friend went inside with them and he saw more beating of the guy....Forget it, i dun want my SIM card anymore.  End of story



3rd December 2007  0238hrs:  Funny Jokes



I came across these few jokes in internet and I really want to share them with you.  Some are really dirty jokes and some are even more lame than me. LMAO! (Laugh my ass off!)  Yeah..they are funny...some got me laughing till my tears rolled down till my the knee like waterfall..  Here goes, darling...




The hairless Lodger



A couple take on an 18 year old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a bathroom and she could use a tin bath in front of the fire.

"Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to play darts," she said.

So the girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday. After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and watched as the girl got undressed. She was surprised to see that the lass didn't have any public hair and told her husband when he came home.

He didn't believe her so she said: "Next week I'll leave a gap in the curtains so that you can see for yourself"

the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked: "Do you shave?"

"No," said the girl. "I've just never grown any hairs down there. Do you have hairs?"

"Oh yes," said the woman and she showed off her great, hairy mooff. When the husband got back in, she asked: "Did you see?" "Yes," he said. "But why the hell did you have to show her yours?"

"Why," she said. "You've seen it all before."

"I know," he said, "but the fucking darts team hadn't!"



Ah Lian drives car!



Ah Beng bought a Honda VTI recently and drove to Ah Lian's place to show it to her.
So there Ah Beng was bragging the various functions of his new car to his girlfriend.
"This is ah, so fast even the Mata Chia cannot catch ah!"
"Ha! Really ah!!! Steady lah!" said Ah Lian.
"Some more hor, this is Automatic one, vely easy to drive!"
So Ah Lian said, "Let me try! I wan, I wan!"
So Ah Lian took the driver's seat and shifted the gear and floored the accelerator.
The next moment, the car sped backwards and crashed into the lamp-post.
"Alamak! What u doing? U Siao Char Bo! U see lah! Wah Piang eh!" screamed Ah Beng.
"Solee, solee, pai sah lah! No lah, I tot hor, "R" for racing mah!"




22th November 2007  1500hrs:  Two Boys fighting, Alien disturbs  (Fiction)


Bobby was beating up Tommy.  Tommy's mouth bleeding...Bobby grabbed him on his collar..Tommy tries to punch Bobby's eye.  He missed the first time, he box Bobby another time.  Orh Bak Kut!  Bull eyes!  Bobby's left eyeball punctured, n almost drop out, dangling outside his eyelid.  Bobby tries to hold it to fix it back.  But Tommy boxed him in the right eye.  Two eyeballs now dangling outside, n Bobby now hold them with two hands.  He yelp.  Ouch Ouch...My balls!!  Tommy was very angry that Bobby always bully the ugly people. He walked up to Bobby, while Bobby was busy figuring a way to fix back his eyes,  he kicked Bobby at the groin area.  This time, Bobby's that part wun dangle anymore....Roti Prata I like..!

Suddenly,  a spaceship comes, hovering above them.....the door opened.  An alien standing near the door, shouting behind him..."Lower, lower, lowwer....Aiyah!"  He slipped n fell off the door...Roti Prata Kosong~!  The flattened alien pointed his middle finger at the spaceship...." Fucking Door!"  The alien was struggling to get up.  Bobby still tries fix his eyes.  He fixed wrongly, his left eyes up side down....He knocked his head to adjust...Cannot..must take out again...He dig out his ball again....Alien gets up n walked to Tommy.....The Alien is from Venus....His name is called Louis Chang.

"Why you bully friend?"  "He bullied me, idiot!"  "Why you bully friend?"

Tommy was getting very irritated, he gives the alien one tight slap!  "Shut up lah...keep asking the same question"  "Why u bully friend?"  Tommy decided to give the son of the bitch a DDT!  Roti Prata third times...

"Why you bully friend?"  "KNN, kao bei ah!"  Tommy kicks him repetitively  "Ask again, ask again!"  "Why you bully friend?"

This time, Tommy was super pissed off.. He climbed up the corners of the ring, n intend to give him super flying finish.  When he climbed halfway, he slipped.  The rope entangled him, with the legs super entangled, his head up, n his eyes staring in a super weird position.  "KNNNB.......Sibei suay...Kena bullied, stupid alien comes n disturb....Now become like Spiderman..."

Alien walked right to him, took out his laser gun.  Zap.....Chow Da........!  BBQ wings i like...yummy!






09th November 2007  2307hrs:  Running Away from Home  (Fiction)


Linda did it again.  She ran away from her home again.  Her Step father did her once again.  He had raped her many many times.  This is not the first time Linda has run away from home, in tears.   Tears was flowing out from the sides of her eyes.  She was running..... yes, she was running away from her house.  She wants to tell her mother about this, but she knows her mum wun believed in her.   Her mother thinks she got the most wonderful man in the world since Linda's birth father died in a car accident.  George was Linda's father best friend.  He came in at the right time n stole her heart again.  But her step-father is a bastard!!!!  Linda has the gut feeling George wants her mother's body n the big money issued out by the insurance for her father's death.

She felt so dirty after the sex.  Which father will rape their own daughters!!!???  Her mind are spinning.....She feel like committing suicide.  She was looking at the pond at the park.  Some ducks are looking her.  Some tilting their heads like dogs...trying to find out what is she going to do. 

Duck A: Is she going to jump??  Duck B: Not sure ask her lah...    Duck A: Oei Girl... Quack Quack Quack Quack...Oh sheep. I cant talk human! 

Finally, Linda decided...She is.....NOT going to jump into the pond.     Duck A & B: Chey!!! Waste out time!   Duck A: Tot of buying some popcorns just now! now no need le lah! Idiot girl! Want to jump dun dare to jump.Waste our time..make us feel so excited for nothing!.

Linda in despair, she does not even have the courage to jump into the 1.3m duck pond.  (For your info, Linda was 1.2m tall) LOL...Tears started to fall down from her eyes again....They streamed down to her mouth, then some to her nose...mixed with some mucus flowing down....Soon her face was covered with mucus n tears...just like after shower! =)

Linda started to run again.  This time, running away from the park.  The wind just slide past her...She is running towards you.. Linda is coming..!!!

"Oh my god! Linda is coming.." said the slow snail.  "She will crush me......Erkks.. "  Crack.....silence......death cry...

This is the time when Linda feels like she ran like Alice in wonderland, she paused n catches her breath.  Pant Pant Pant pant pant Pant pant.. Alice looks at her watch...630pm...She had ran away from home for 20 mins already..." Oh sheep, I must get back home...George may be worried..."  Linda's life continues...... 

Steven note:  just a story...Just bought a kawasaki Ninja ZX11  (1100cc) ....very very powerful class 2 indeed! Riding a bike may be dangerous, but is super shiok!!






25th October 2007  0014hrs: Adventures of Inspector Xiaxue & Detective Steven Lim: Epi 11


Inspector Xiaxue was laying beside Detective Steven.  She cant sleep. This is not the time she had killed a criminal. But today is different..she saw his parents..crying over.their only son...

"why did u kill him? He is not a criminal.He wun rob a bank!" his mother burst into tears.."He is such a good son! Boo hooo hoo!" she cries...the father can only drop tears of sorrow...  She could have shot him one more time at his legs to stop him . She blamed herself for that but if she never shoot him dead, she may be the one killed. He got a gun in his hand! Watever, the criminal is dead. Xiaxue is feeling feverish...Steven woke up seeing her in despair...

 "Are u ok, darling?" Seeing his girlfriend in a sickly look, he placed his hand on her forehead, rubbing his sleepy eyes with another. 

"oh man...u r running a fever.." He jumped up of bed n went to get a glass of water for her...n a Panadol pill on his hand..

 Xiaxue tried to crack a joke.."ha ha, u sure u giving me the rite pill? ITS AINT NOT VIAGRA right? Ha ha.."

 "Not funny... VIAGRA is for me..recently. I cant steam.."  he gave a cheeky sad face....

 "no worries..darling.. U r not that bad."

 "Thanks..wat u say really makes me feel better..."  They hugged sweetly..suddenly a red figure float pass xiaxue..she was shocked..but remained undisturbed.. It turns around with glaring fury eyes. It is Ali! It is coming back to haunt her! 

Next day, she was on mc with a temp of 39 degree celcius..first moment she woke up,  It stands right infront of her.

"arrgggh....! Ghost!" It glares at her! Then, stretches out his fire hands on to her.. Strangle! Strangle strangle! Xiaxue cant breathe..

 "sSSSS..SSST..stop!" It grasbs even tighter..Xiaxue's neck with her desperately holding on to its burning red hot hands, burning her hands too

 "Why did u kill me?! Who is going to take care of my family!? I must kill u" Xiaxue is dying soon...

 "oh Lord oh father above..! Forgive my sin! Give him patience n tolerance...If my life can give him peace, take me with u"

Suddenly, thru the window..a huge flash of light zapped in n almost vaporize Ali.. 

It turns totally into steam..cchhhssss! Xiaxue can only says her Grace in shock on bed...! GHOSTS really exists!





16th October 2007  0109hrs: Adventures of Inspector Xiaxue & Detective Steven Lim: Epi 10




Did Inspector Xiaxue die???  No..... She is alive n kicking!  She is busy kicking bad ass in Modash again after refusing to stay in hospital bed for one month!!! She knows her wound on her back is still aching.. Sometimes it still bleeds a bit n pus may leak out occasionally from the hospital  bandage.  She does not seem to care.  In her eyes are only justice, just like Detective Steven Lim.  The longer sick leave they take, they going to work more overtime to get the criminals or solve crimes.  Police is just like office job but even more demanding!!!  A crime not solved means that more people may get hurt or unprotected!  Steven n Xiaxue knows that.  They are heroic crime busters.  They wun admit defeat.  Here it is, a Black man ran out of a convenience store, with a gun with a bag of money on his left hand.  Xiaxue was chasing him across the streets.  They jumped thru hurdles, misses near car accidents.  They are both now running.  Xiaxue was joined with more n more heroic civilians.  Wat a scene!!!  "Catch the robberer! Break his legs!!" Many yells u can hell.........a flock of people chasing a desperate, hungry man.  This guy is Ali.  Ali grown up at the poorest part of village Nila.  He is 43 years old, single, has never eaten abalone before, never tried sex before.  His father was old n sickly in bed.  His mum was blind.  He is only the sole bread owner in his family.  He lives in attap houses.  The whole area will be flooded once there are heavy rains. Yes, the frogs will even jumps in.  Snakes will follow.  Ali is pathetic.  He has never gone of his village before.  He is going out now to find food n more money for his family.  He stole a gun n too his chances at the town.  Not long after, he found himself chased by Xiaxue n a gang of angry streethelpers.  He needs to get away..He thinks..he needs the money for his sickly father...He going to treat his mum's eyes....  They barely left with bones....due to malnutrition...


After running for 1 mile...He could not take it anymore...By then, a hand grabbed his collar from his bank... An young lad attempts to stop him from getting away. try wrestle him to the ground.  "No...I cant be caught. My family needs me...!" Ali turns around matrix styled....Bang!  The young lad mouth opened big big...part of  his lips was shot thru...his teeth....n a bigger patch of his back skull when the bullet drew a hurricane movement all the away thru his head. Slow Mo....Young lad mouth wide...Head till aside.  Mouth leaks abit of blood........More blood flowing....then a big water fountain flows right from his back of his head.  Slow Mo...He......Is......Dead..  He is only 17.  He is a virgin.  Ali is a virgin killer........!  Now u must be wondering...Ali is so cruel to murder him....But if u were Ali, will u get urself caught???  The answer is yours.  Xiaxue skidded past thru him...n drop to see how is he.  She turns to the coming crowd n shook her head in despair, n on her kness again, she start chasing Ali....



Ali's mind thinks of only one thing..  Money, food, medicine cure!  He can almost see his family in his head.  He thinks of how his family are used to be when they are younger.  They are once very happy.  His mum will always push Ali on the swing when he is 5, 6 years old...His father will retired to their house after a long day in the sun ploughing n farming..His father used to be very mascular n his Pop will always flew him like superman across the hallway...zoomm...!  They were very poor...but they were very happy....Ali's eyes starts to tear....tear drops flew right past at the corners.  He starts running faster n faster......Run, Ali run......!  Xiaxue is losing him...This crazy Ali who has just killed a man is running faster n faster.....



She has license to shoot if needed.....  She grabbed his handgun clumsily from his gun pouch at his ankle n still running...She shouted... " Do not move.or i will shoot now!!!"  Ali knew that he had shot dead a guy..He worriedly look back at Xiaxue to check on things.  But he still run....  "I Said Dun move...I count to 3..... 1! Bang!"  "Sorry...I failed in maths...." Xiaxue said.......Ali was shot at his big right thigh.  Blood is like sperms flowing out of it....Ali shouted! Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!  Before he dropped to the ground, Matrix styled he flipped back again n flick a shot at Xiaxue...Before he can even squeeze the trigger,  "Bang..."  Ali left eye shot......"Bang!"  Right eye......"Bang...!" some meat of his forehead starts to fall..Ali knew his time was up...."Sorry Ma, Pa...I could not take care of u anymore...Good bye....."  Ali died a virgin......after 43 years!  He should have given it to that plump girl that liked him in College 20 years ago...




Some people said they could see tears at his eyes.   Ali dies without able to see his parents for the last times...Who is the real murderer in this case now?  Ali or Xiaxue....???  Do come back next relived.....!!!!!  Xiaxue and Steven will be in serious trouble...




4th October 2007  0243hrs: Adventures of Inspector Xiaxue & Detective Steven Lim: Epi 9




Inspector Xiaxue turns around....A knife stuck at her shoulders...A burly, unshaven man grabbed her from behind at the neck with one hand n push Xiaxue aside...Xiaxue turns weak, black out n falls like a sack of potatoes.  "Xiaxue!!!!" Steven shouted n want to rush to her side but promptly blocked by Burly man.  Burly man looks at Detective Steven n looked at his friend's bleeding mouth with fallen teeth on the ground.  He stared at Steven.  Steven stared back......Steven is not afraid.  he is just 10 cm away from the filthy smelling creature.  Burly Man test punching his fist at his left palm.  He wants to fight! Steven was very worried about Xiaxue.   Will Xiaxue die? Cos she is bleeding so much...the floor is full of blood. ..Steven Lim tries to squeeze thru.  Burly man was super big n 2 heads taller than Steven.  Burly man neck locked Steven with his arm when Steven Lim tries to go pass thru his armpit.  Steven Lim is like a chicken head protruding out of Burly man's big arm lock.  Burly man tries to bring Steven lower n Man stretches out his right hand to the knife on Xiaxue's back n extract it out...the blood was flying around n spilling....bleeding so much....all red on the floor..Man tries to stab at Steven. Steven Lim tries to break free and wanting to rush to Xiaxue. He loves her.  "Xiaxue....dun die..u so young...dun die!!!" His heart said...there was a big struggle....Two stabs miss.   The third one hits on Steven's head.. The knife does not have any effect on him, as the knife excruciate n bounced off from Steven's head like rubber..Burly man does not believe it, he stabs a few more times on Steven's head.  the knife simply twists n broke into two.  Burly man was shocked n threw away the knife in disbelief as he had just seen a ghosts.  He punched Steven on the head again like an American wrestler.  No effect n he even feel the pain on his fist as it get bruised from the bionic powers of Steven.  Steven grabbed Burly man's belt.  With his shoulder, he knocked Burly man to the ground.  Burly man struggled n crawled backwards..He had seen the ghost!!!  Steven chased him n grabbed hold of his leg when he intends to move away.  He tried to kick free but Steven only hold it even tighter. Steven lifts the whole man up to his shoulder level like a chicken waiting to be slaughter.  Flying chop left to right with his left hand, the leg is wasted, the bone is twisted n deformed, finally dangling with the meat, it becomes two piece.  Foot n ankle on Steven's hand, the body just dropped on the floor... "Arrgggghhhh!!! Arrggghhhhhhh!!!"  Burly man just shouted in pain n seeing his foot on Steven's hand just freaked him out.  His broken leg just waved frantically in the air, like seeking for help.  Steven walked over again, He lifted the evil guy's left hand, vertical kick, from bottom to top, two broken limbs in total. Chopped foot on his right hand, the broken n bleeding hand on his left hand.  In one motion, he threw the two missing pieces back to the Burly man at the chest...  "Arrrggghh  Arrggghhh!! Arrggghhh!"  Burly man screamed, cant decide on wether to take or not take the chopped off.  Police vehicles came.  The siren noise shook the empty beach..Burly man n his accomplices were apprehended.  Steven rushed over to Xiaxue....."Xiaxue....Dun die..dun die.."  He hugged her really tight..."Dun die.." He cries. Tears rolled streamingly without any control..Everyone can see the sadness in his eyes..She is still breathing..Ambulance came n rushed her to the hospital.........Will Inspector Xiaxue dies?  Wat happens next time will be a shock.....!








23th September 2007  0138hrs: Adventures of Inspector Xiaxue & Detective Steven Lim: Epi 8




Aliens were destroyed n eliminated last week.  Peace was brought back to Modash.  Road sweepers n the army was busily removing all the debris n dust on the street.  The aftermath of using a Nuclear Bomb.  You could see aliens heads, arms n legs around n many parts of them are bloodied n minced, laying awkwardly everywhere on the street.  The citizen of Modash were thinking.  After this alien's invasion, wat could be worse??  Inspector Xiaxue & her beau, Detective Steven Lim was playing around on the beach.  They were playing with water, some catching, frisbee, fetch & some hide n seek.  A lazy Monday afternoon, off day for the very young couple.  Hahahhahaa.... Steven was laughing....Heehee hee hhee... Xiaxue's giggling...n they hug sweetly when the day becomes dusk.  They decided to go for shower after a long hot day in the sun.  It was a fun day, n they really enjoy the good times together.  They took their things n hand in hand, they strolled to the toilet.  Xiaxue was dragging her foot.  She had hurted her left foot when she run over a sharp pebble. Yah...everything was slow n easy.  Steven entered the gents n Xiaxue to hers. There were not many people at the beach on Monday.  There are many available shower heads in the Ladies.  But some noise at the toilet cubicle attracted her attention.  There were some deep voices, most prob from a guy's coming out of there.  "Sshh..u better shut up.  Pass me all ur cash, or i will stuff this knife your mouth."  Robberies??! Xiaxue knocked on the door.  "Is anything ok inside?"  There was complete silence as her voice echoed in the empty toilet.  Further silence.  She knocked the door again.  She hold her breath, trying not to disturb the silence there.  "Hello! U ok?? can reply?"  No response....  Xiaxue  jumped up to see what is inside.  2 guys, stared at the jump, each holding a knife at the throat of a undressed terrified Caucasian girl.  This is bad.  Rape Robbery? "Police! Put down your weapons or I will use force!"  Xiaxue tried to jump again to peek.  Suddenly, the door slam opened n banged the flying Xiaxue away to the ground.  She fell.  The two criminals holding on to the knives at the girl's throat, sizzled out from the cubicle.  Seeing Xiaxue unarmed, one tried to seize Xiaxue.  Xiaxue was unprepared. She screamed like a woman.  Steven heard the scream n immediately wrap a toilet n rushed to over to see wat happened. Two girls are taken hostage.  There are surrounded by by-passers. One of the hostages is a senior police inspector!  How bad can it be?  Steven rushed back again n took his gun, pointed at the two criminals.  They are holding on more tightly to their knife.  "You better dun be stupid, or i do a cut on her throat."  "Put down ur knifes, I say!"  "Dare to try us?!"  One did a small cut on Xia xue's blood flows out..... Oh my god...  Should Steven put down his weapon???  He lowered his gun but immediately point back at them again... " I say put down your knifes, if not i will really shoot!"  Xiaxue is looking for a chance...yes, her throat starts bleeding a bit......She signaled with his eyes.  It says shoot the another one.....Steven got the message...  He shoots!  One criminal was shot at his throat.  Gone...he is down..The naked Caucasian girl try to flee...Another one that is holding on to Xiaxue tries to get her back.  Xiaxue elbowed back his chest.  Kapow!  The guy in pain! Vomit blood.  Vertical kick to his chin...Poof!  He somersaulted back with the attack n dropped to the ground.  His knife dropped beside him.  He tries to get up again n take the knife.  Bang! Bang!  Steven shots his hand....Blood......a lot of blood....his index finger was shot off.....Ahhhhhhh!! Pain.....!!  The criminal holding on to his right hand...  Steven passed his towel to the Caucasian to cover herself, n with his swimming trunk, he ran over....He flew....Knee cap flying kick...Left to right swing....The criminal face turns funny n distorted.. all sets of teeth on the right side all drop.... Suddenly,  Xiaxue felt a sharp pain on her right shoulder.  A knife was stucked there....She turns around.....Someone is there....Wat actually happen??? Another criminal??? Do come back soon again to find out............




15th September 2007  1138hrs: Adventures of Inspector Xiaxue & Detective Steven Lim: Epi 7




The commandoes was sent in by the choppers with missiles.  100 sets of helicopters were flying underneath the big alien flying spaceship, awaiting new orders to attack it.  This is going to be a big space war.  How many aliens they have inside the spaceship?  Detective Steven ponders  He is put incharge as the back room command of the whole operation.  He has just been awarded a medal for his bravery in eliminating two aliens from the previous chapters.  Two were beheaded.  Now the problem is that they have no clue on how to enter the ship.  They cant attack just like that.  The falling debris may just crush Modash.  It is a long wait for the big fight.  Martians against Earthlings!  1247 hrs  Movement in the spaceship.  It shift places to the east 5 km.  At the top of Mount Ferlicia, the big spaceship doors opened slowly nosily.  Chump Chump Chump.  Heads popping out again, but now with laser gun like weapon in hands.  The metallic door slams hard on top on the mountain.  One bigger alien stepped out with a gun on his hand.  With a wave, a roar....... "Charge.....!!!!"  Two lines of aliens rush out thru the door, running down fast the hill.  Aliens attacking!!!  It is a magnificent thing.  The war cry is frightening...." Charge Charge Charge...!! Destroy Earth....!!! Kill all!!!!"   They started shooting at the helicopters. Zap Zap.....rotary blade of the choppers exploded....crashing down like paper airplanes in flames.  Boom.....Two crashed down below.  It is very messy.  The helicopters just crashed on some people.. "Fire the opening door!!! before it is close......The alien lines never stop....More n more aliens speed out from their nest.  Missiles was shot inside the door.. Zoom Zoom zoom... Zoom.. Exploded.  The whole space ship shook!  They are many confusion inside.  They never expect Earthlings do have powerful missiles weapon.  President JeevKid, "Feed them some nuclear.....Make sure it flew rite in...No mistakes"  Nuclear!!"  Nuclear loaded, the fighter pilot nervously take aim at the opening door.  Shoot rite in, he said.  Locked. He pressed the button.  Zzzzaaaaapppppp......At first there are nothing....but boom!!!!!!  The whole space ship expanded, started to crack then till it cant contain anymore.   Boom......Nuclear cloud was formed inside the spaceship...!!! Can u imagine how bad it is!!!?? The aliens who are still inside....Melt like ices in hotpan.  You cant even find their bodies!!  The ones near the door were thrown out by the explosion n you could see many of them rolling down the steep hill by collateral damages.  Inspector Xiaxue was at the bottom.  She ordered!!   Shoot them.....Machine guns start aiming at the rolling n terrified aliens.  The aliens are helpless.  They could not turn back.  The spaceship disappeared totally.  Only dust of it keeps flying around..  There are about 200 of the aliens with aliens still surviving.  Those that struggled to get up at the bottom to shoot back were shot at every parts of the bodies.  More struggled.  Only 100 left n they charged towards the police.  2 went past the defense line.  Steven was there....  With two hands, grabbed n lifted both of them up at the neck n smashed the two small heads together.  Piak!!!! Mini explosion...Brain dead!  N he uses them as rocks n flung them at the attackers.  One hit one miss.  One more instant death upon the hit.  Steven rushed to one remains of the helicopters lifted the burning big choppers up.....  Up Up Up above his head n with a 270 degree turn of his body, he flicked it easily at the aliens again.   Aliens were screaming.  They never knew Earthlings can be that terrible n so strong.  They all tremble with fear n gathered together.  Many are shot n injured badly.  A few aliens were shot in the eyes n gone blind n some half head gone.  They lifted hands n surrendered n all kneel down.  Steven walked in with his comrades with guns.  Suddenly, one alien tried to attack one cop.  With super speed, Steven goes over, a kick from rite to left.  Headless.... Like soccer, the head undetached from the main body, flew n hit a police car.  The police car exploded with the impact.  Powerful Detective Steven Lim!!!  All surrounded with weapons thrown aside.  50 left...  All were locked up n the leaders were sent for further investigation n interviews.  Again.....Detective Steven Lim & Inspector Xiaxue saved the Earth again!  More actions next episode!!






8th September 2007  0226hrs: Adventures of Inspector Xiaxue & Detective Steven Lim: Epi 6




Sky was dark....People of Modash was looking up to the sky.  It was rather unusual.  It is not going to rain.  It is not cloudy but there is  something up there up high up in the sky that blocks the sunlight.  It was very big, very very big.  "Wat the fuck is that!" a citizen exclaimed.    Besides, it was hovering n floating high above n wherever it goes, it blocks n give a dark shade to the land below.  Police was long being informed n everyone was pointing n discussing about the big UFO.  Inspector Xiaxue n Detective Steven Lim was there too.  Steven was scuffling his dark hair back with his rite hand, with another hand palms outwards placing on his head.  "Oh my is getting closer!"  True enough, it is getting bigger n bigger......It is half the size of Modash when it stopped suddenly 100m above from ground.



The door opens, slamming down in midair.  Many many little heads were seen behind the door.  Aliens! Yikes!!  Aliens invasion?!!!  Two aliens jumped out from the door n float down to the ground. They land infront of Xiaxue n Steven whose mouth opened big in shock.  Friends or Foes?  One pointed a finger at Steven's cheek.  " I want to talk to your top leader..." Damn! Steven thinks, really Alien invasion this time!  He shivered abit....Not because he is afraid he will lose in fighting.  He is worried about the massive aliens invasion to the whole city.... His parents n family n Xiaxue who is not super powered.... " Ok ok..i bring u there..."  No one dares to move an inch.....Any false moves, alien invasions....Bye bye Modash...



President JeevKid's Office



"Er...wat do you all need..? What is your purpose here???" " Our home planet is destroyed.  We want to borrow your chair.  or rather, give us your place.  If not, we will come down with massive destructive weapons n eliminate all of you before we have it all by ourselve."  "No way...u not going to take it!"  President look at Steven in a "what shall we do?" look.  "We, Martians, we will kill you all then!  I m making a call now to send down the troops.  Bye bye, Earthlings...ahhahahahhah!"  One took up a communication device n attempt to talk to it.



"No way!"  Steven chop off one head in one motion.  The head rolled down to the president table.  He squirmed!  Ahhh.....   No blood, Martians dun have blood.  The other tried to run..... the president security guards opened fire... Not one shots.  33 shots from top to bottom.  "EEEkk  Arrgghhh..." The alien left a painful scream then fell to the ground n crawl abit in pain then eyes open big died.  "Useless creatues!"  Detective Steven walks, n another motion he stomp into the heads.  The foot went thru all bones n skull crushes.....Cracks cracks.......Same....the body detached from the head....One headless body n the other not even better.  Roti Prata....




Oh my god...wat shall they do now?? send the commandoes to clear the spaceship with helicopters? or fighter planes??  They must not let the spaceship had a chance to unload its invaders, it not there is really no way back.  Two aliens were killed relatively easy.  Their communication devices keep beeping.   Maybe the rest of the aliens already know what had happened.  They may have guns or lasers....We are panicking.  wat shall we do??




Inspector Xiaxue heads the police department at the scene.  She was holding on to her binoculars n scouting the surface of the space ship.  The ship was white in color, with sunlight shines on becomes golden n it is very irritating to open ur eyes n spy the area.  She sighed in despair, thinking what will happen in the future.  She has no kin left.  It does not matter to her so much, but she loves Steven.  They are going to get married one day, hopefully before the end of the world. " Oh lord, pls make Steven safe n sound....." She prayed...




"Ladies n Gentlemen, this is ur President JeevKid here.  We are going to attack the ship no matter soon in one hour time.... Please close all ur windows n hide n wait for any updated news."  Next episode, there will b a hard core attack n adventures with Martians  For full story pls kindly wait for the story continues.....



28th August 2007  0428hrs: Adventures of Inspector Xiaxue & Detective Steven Lim: Epi 5




It was not an accident.  Michelle was strangled to death while trying to protect her virginity...She was a young girl..She never gave it to anyone even though she had 3 boyfriends before.  She was a staunch Christian, n she wants to leave the best moments for her future husband.  Yes, She is a still a virgin but she is dead.  Those two bastards who attempted to rape her was put on trial in front of the subordinate courts.  In front of the judges a panel of jury n a packed audience to see this astonishing rape murder case.  Michael n Kenny Xia was handcuffed.  They are each manhandled by burly policeman by the arms...They faced a possibilities of death..  The pathologist again proved that the murdered, Michelle was strangled to near death before she was thrown out the window ruthlessly by the murderers.  Inspector Xiaxue n her beau, Steven Lim was there for the hearing. 




Suddenly, in the midst of the hearing....A sudden raving sound of an engine filled the room.  A big Harley Davidson motorcycle smashed opened the main door of the court.  The door was really exploding n all the presents are all shocked by the big sound!  A very big sized guy with big rifle guns n flower tattoo jammed brake the bike at the defendant stand.  Screeech..the bike fish tailed n turned n the bike was facing back to the entrance. The rifle pointing at the two guards behind them. Bam! Bam!  The heads of the guards explodes in midair, leaving only the necks n below parts, you could even see blood flowing out from the necks but u cannot find the head anywhere....They are gone!



"Michael, Kenny run!"  The two murderers climbed out of the cell n jumped rite on to the big bike.  There are 3 persons in the bike!  The 1900cc bike goes brooommzz..boroomm..s. broommmmmmmmmz..... to the direction of the main gate.  Xiaxue n Steven wiggled thru the terrified people on the grounds, they are going for the main door too.  At the door where the bike are heading..  Two figures jumped down from above the door to the level.  Yes, Inspector Xiaxue n Detective Steven! Both dropping to a Kung Fu Stance each.  Hi Ya!



"Knock them down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  "Just knock them down!"  The bike almost knocks into Xia xue... Xiaxue jumped aside n carelessly rolls on the ground n bounced back up again with superb flying kick that send the whole bike sailing thru space, side skidded before the walls n toppled over on the sides.  Michael's legs was busted with the whole bike crashing on his leg..He is immobilized! Kenny Xia tries to run out of the main to be blocked by Steven. 



Scenario......Xiaxue against Burly rider.  Burly rider drew out from the back of his jacket the big rifle n aimed two shots at Xia Xue.....Bam Bam!  One missed n the another almost hitted Xiaxue.   She kept dodging n took cover behind the judge table. Third shot! Bam! Crash!  The whole table vanished...N you can see Xiaxue n the judge trying to running for other covers...!  He kept shooting...Bam Bam to the hiding audiences....Few are already dead....Some got big holes in the body, with the hearts n lungs gone....some kidneys...




No more ammunitions!  Xiaxue bounced up n flew thru the space the again....knee lifted...Kepuit! Rider chin's receiving her knee cap.  Spit blood...He fell back to the ground..He bounced up....He bounced around like a boxer with a series of attacking boxing stances...Shoot shoot...Two jabs to Xiaxue's face.  She fell back to give him a vertical high kick to the chin again.  He flipped back this time.  Broken neck....!  He tries struggle up again.  KO......!  Xiaxue flew high up again, up up up then down fast to give him a spinning drill kick on top of his chest..... He needs to get his lung changed if he is alive!





Steven Lim Vs Kenny Xia...Blockage at the entrance.....He blocked Kenny.  Kenny tries to force thru to be wrestled on the ground by Steven.  There is no contest! Until... Kenny chants.... "oh flur aah ki ta mu ni lah......oh flur aah ki ta mu ni lah! oh flur aah ki ta mu ni lah! ..oh flur aah ki ta mu ni lah..!"  Something weird happens.....Kenny can morph!!!  Steven cant grab hold of him anymore.....Kenny's neck thickens, arms thicken n everything was becoming so big so big......He was three foot tall n his foot is  80"!  Steven get ready to defends..Kung Fu Stance Hiya!...Kenny's wields his big fist the on Steven! Thump!  Floor one big hole!



Thump Thump Thump!  Three big holes....!  Steven barely dodge the last one....He is a monster!!!!  Steven was forced to a corner.....He kicked his



 legs.....Kenny twitched n tripped...Good chance...Steven kick at the same spot....Kenny fell this time round.  N bounced back again... Thump Thump  Kick



Kick There is a big exchange of fights.  Out of nowhere, Kenny was holding a big chopper in his hand!  Danger!  Steven, finished him!  Kill this monster.....Detective Steven jumped up, with hands by his sides n flew thru the space, up up up till see Kenny's surprised face n side kicked...from right to the left...One big swing across Kenny's gigantic head!  It missed n Steven follow thru the spin with another kick. Kapoob!  n another spin  Kapow! Kapow Kapow Kapow Kapow again! Kenny Xia eyes goes blind n spits his dropping teeth out...N dropped..Panting...the mouth bleeding like mad....on his knees.....KO.....Steven Lim flew again, floating towards Kenny with fast speed.  A final vertical uppercut below the chin which goes right thru it actually.  The fist sticking in the mouth.  Kenny could not breathe...Kenny whine in pain..Arrrghh ...arrggh...Pain...Pant Pant! Pant pant.... His eyes ended wide opened....Pronounced dead..




Xiaxue n Steven comes together n they hugged n prayed n kissed...He grasps her hands n he passionately kissed her again.... Finally, it is over.....!




The only surviving criminal, Michael goes to the hanging area with a limping leg n a clutch...Come back next time, we have superpower action packed adventures awaits u....!







20th August 2007  0206hrs: Adventures of Inspector Xiaxue & Detective Steven Lim: Epi 4





"Thump, thump, thump!"  Detective Steven is in his bed.."Wat the hell!  When r they going to complete their renovation?"  Police works in different shift n hours.. He is trying to sleep in the day.  He looks at the alarm clock... 0305pm.. "Oh fuck! I cant sleep!"  On the light cupboard, is their picture in the frame.  Steven n Inspector Xiaxue.  They are lovers for many years...Knock knock....someone is knocking at the door....Steven dragged his tired feet to the entrance...It is Inspector Xiaxue.." How are u, honey...u sleeping?"  Xiaxue's hands are full of groceries..."Look at the food i buy for u.."  Steven gave her the "oh pls look...."  Xiaxue placed them on the dining table...Steven dragged himself back to sleep again... Do Not Disturb he says... LOL......Xiaxue sheepishly crawled to his bed, n pointed her finger at his head... "Lazy pig, sleep sleep sleep.." "Oh, pls give me a are worse than the renovation above..." while Steven flipped to the other side...Xiaxue laid down beside him softly, n tried to nap a bit ..She placed her arms across Steven's waist n place her hands  on top of his...  Zzzzzzzz........



5.07pm   A large thump was heard.  It woke both of them up from the bed..Wat was that..?  Apparently a maid jumped down from her 7th floor owner's house.  The body was underneath.  Blood was everywhere....Her face all shattered n bloodied... Hmm... 7th storey????  It is the renovation flat....!!  The owners were working, leaving the maid to guard the house n handle the workers to renovate their living room floor... Now the issue is the maid  commit suicide for various reasons or it is foul play..??  They rushed down, Xiaxue n Steven with his pajamas n Xiaxue, investigate the situation.  "911! we have a case of suicide over here. send team over here.  Xiaxue here...."  They knew the maid.She was Michelle, a pretty n busty 21 yrs old girl from Thai.  They exchanged greetings before... They knew something was amiss. Her blouse was disarrayed n torn, even a few buttons went missing.  Her neck shown strangled marks.  They rushed up the storey n check on the renovation.  Only two renovation guys was there.  They r Michael Tan n Kenny Xia.  They keep claiming that they are busy with the dining room refurnishing n only heard of the suicide with the thump. 


Main thing.  Do you believe them?  Kenny Xia got scratch marks on his face.  3 faint lines of across.  A slap??? n Michael seems nervous, n nothing can hide his trembling fingers. An autopsy was performed.  They may be rite.  She was struggling first almost to near death n till coma n was finally thrown out the building n fall to death.  There are forced grab marks on her arms n wrists n especially the breasts area.  She had not been raped but there is obvious struggle n forced entry, as bruises was found at the legs area.  To inspector Xiaxue, it may be  case of outrage of modesty or even an attempted raped.  Now, Michael n Kenny were the main suspect in the scene but they got the same storey.  They are working on the tiles n they hear the jump.



Detective Steven pushed Kenny Xia against the wall with the chair.  " You fucking bastard, you better talk! You try to rape her rite!  They are no other people around but u n Michael.  You wun get away from this..I will beat the shit out of u.." "Sir, we really never rape her ...believe us, can..?" Kenny bowed low, shoulder in pain with the impact. Michael was terrified...."It was not me!! it is him who wants to do it...I tried to stop him...He said she was hot!" "Michael, wat you talking about! Asshole.  You grabbed her tits too rite!  Son of bitch, stupid give urself up..."



"Oh! finally both of you talk huh!  How do you kill her!"  It was attempted rape.  Michelle offered them drinks n walked in n out of the rooms.  Kenny got turned on. He grabbed her hand n pulled her towards his chest. She struggled n Michael assists.  They are bastards, they grabbed her breasts n played with her n they wants to force them to her.  She tried to run off again, kicking n scratching Kenny's face  When she wants to scream, Kenny struggled her... "Sshh shh..dun scream...".  They were terrified when she knocked out n they decided to make to appear to be a suicide....Together, they threw her..  Down....Thump!



Wat will be their fate.....wat will happen next time?  Join us back again for the great adventures of Inspector Xiaxue n Detective Steven Lim!




11th August 2007  0355hrs: Adventures of Inspector Xiaxue & Detective Steven Lim: Epi 3



The man chopping story continues from last time.  Mike, the alleged killer n secret lover, was in pursue for killing of Peter.  Estella was still in custody for further investigation.  The police believed she was involved in the murder as well.  Did she plot it, was she the mastermind.  Inspector Xiaxue was in deep thoughts, trying to piece all the clues together.  Estella seems to calm, n her story seems so unbelievable.  A check was done on the neighbors.  Many of them voiced out that they always hear quarrels n things smashing sounds from the murder house.  Estella's mother, Mary, also mentioned that Peter used to hit Estella n was very rude to them.  Estella was frequently thumped on the head by Peter for talking back, which end up with things throwing n fights. 



Mike was nabbed while doing fishing.  He caught 3 big fishes, in the basket n he seems so unwilling to be taken away by his surprised visitors.  Pressurized interrogation was made on Mike.  "Hey..this is not my fault ok....Estella killed him.  I just help her chop the body n pack them in the fridge.  please let me off." "Why did she killed her!" "Peter kept abusing her...! That night, he came back really drunk n want to force her into having sex.  Estella bit him n he slapped her.  They fought n she killed him with the bat"


Xiaxue paused.  Now, who is telling the truth.  They each give a different version.  When she meets Steven, she still thinks of the case.  Steven hugged her tenderly from behind.  "How is the case?" "No good.....the lie detector shows both of them are telling the truth..Wat is the damn truth!"  Xiaxue kissed Steven.  Estella's mum, visited her again.  They hugged n cried...Marry loves her daughter..."Mum, I love you....Do not worry about me..""Baby, I will get you from here..You will be fine.  You are innocent!."   The guard who is there have a shock by their affections.  Times out...Mary walked out slowly from the station.



Not very long, Mary came back, with a pistol on her hand.  How did she get the pistol?  Information counter, bam!  Watermelon head shot at the attending policeman.  No time for alarm.  Bam Bam Bam.....Two officers down.  She passed the walk way, back to the same room.  The guard was about to take Estella back to her cell.  No much time...The pistol was placed underneath the guard's chin..."Dun...Dun..shoot.. Bam! " Brain juice immersed from the top. The eyes rolling over, the guard, sliding down against the wall, n motionless again.  "Mum......?" Estella knew it was she....she tried to stop her from shooting...."Mum..!" Estella hugged her.  Bam...!.One eyeball was shot right thru Estella's chin. "Sorry baby...dun blame mum.  I cant go to jail....."  It was her mum who killed Peter!!!



Mary was visiting Estella  one that fateful day.  They have a long nice conversation till Peter came back.  "Wat is this old good for nothing coming here for?  How is the old folks' home application"   Estella stared angrily at him. "None of ur fucking business"  In front of Mary, Peter boldly walked over n slap her across.  Mary scolded him!  Peter gave Estella another tight one.  They started to fight n Mary tried to pull Peter away.  Peter pushed her on the ground.  Mary was furious!  She ran around...looking something that can hit Peter.  A chair?  No no..... Underneath the bed, she took out the bat n smashed Peter's head.  The skull was cracked n he was bleeding, but not breathing.  Estella was panicking......Mary appears to be more cool...She asked her mum to leave quickly n called Mike to help her dispose the body.  She told him she killed him!  Mike chopped the body with a big cleaver.  The blood flows the whole area..... A sea of red....



Mary was still shooting at the police station.  Many officers were either killed or heavily injured.  Detective Steven Lim walked boldly towards her.  He was very fast.  He was just behind of Mary.  Mary turned around.  Steven was right infront of the old lady! Marry opened shot. 2 rounds went whizzing past Steven.  A hard punch was thrown at Mary's abdomen. Whop...!  The hand almost went past thru Mary's body.  The punch drilled right thru..where u can see a big hole in her body..She threw blood n she fell to the ground.  She is really in pain.,  The old lady is going to jail at least.  Detective Steven Lim saves the day again...!"   Mike was charged with assisting in disposing the body n was sent to 2 years jail.  Mary is sentenced to hell 3 months later by hanging.







3rd August 2007  1840hrs: Adventures of Inspector Xiaxue & Detective Steven Lim: Epi 2



Saturday 2000hrs Location: Cowboy Restaurant    It is off duty for Inspector Xiaxue n her beau, Detective Steven Lim.  They sizzled themselves to a very good Steak restaurant in Clitta, Modash.  Xiaxue was ordering her favorite medium raw barbeque sauce American Steak, while Steven was barely enjoying his fish n chips.  Steven hates fish, but he just wanna try something different.  He just solved a bank robbery case in Town.  Three of the Vietnamese robbers are apprehended all in a matter of 10 hours. Steven was shagged out.  He just lay his head back to the comfortable pink cushion.  At times, he poked his fork at the fried fish meat. "Darling, can you dun play with your food?  Who told u to order this since u dun like?" Xiaxue complaint.  "Dear...Just wanna eat something that I hate today. Anyway I dun have the appetite..I m so shagged.  Your boyfriend is so capable of solving a bank robbery case in mins!   Oh man, I need some energy drink..."  Xiaxue empathized with Steven, she rubbed her hand romantically against Steven's chin.  "Steven, why dun you just quit?"  Haha..Easier said then done... Steven busted many many crime case this year.  Recalling the successful operation just now, his team was gun-fighting with the robbers at the Downtown warehouse. The ammunition of the robbers were very strong, n they could not enter the warehouse. Two of his mates were shot.  He did not want any more casualties.  Again, He tried to do it himself again.  He leaped out from the defense of the police car n dash himself towards the walls of the warehouse.  Running target for the criminals.  All gun points at Detective Steven.  30 machine gun shots bounced off Steven like falling dandruff.  Yes, Detective Steven is bionic, but he still feel the pain.  He twirled his body just before smashing his body rite thru the wall!  Boom!  The whole wall was demolished at that instant.  They kept shooting Steven.  He was yelping in pain as he moved in to the terrified robbers.  They felt they have seen a freak.  Till, they just simple stop shooting.  The knew they have really met a bionic freak.  Till they covered from shock, Steven was lifting one guy up at the throat with his bionic right hand.  He flicked him like Barbie doll to the pillar. Bam! A thousand pieces is the pillar.  The man was severely hurt, rib burst.  Two other robbers shot Steven some more. use....They gave up with hands above their heads, seeing their friend almost being destroyed, struggling to near death...



Steven sighs again, playing with his unfinished food again.  He gave a sweet kiss on Xiaxue's face.  "No worries, honey.  I m fine...."  Phone rings... Xia xue answers "Yes? wat...murder at 11th floor, Ziba Apartments. Ok ok..I be there."  She looks at Steven, pulling a funny face....  OH man, Crime busting time again!!!  They hastily paid their bills n leave.



Crime scene:  A man was chopped into twelve pieces n was found in a refrigerator.  THe house was empty n was found by a thief who wants to break into the house n was shocked wat he had found.  The body parts was highly decomposed n the stench is as rotten as dead bodies of rats with body wastes together.  It is so bad that the whole police unit have to mask themselves.  Inspector Xiaxue n her Detective arrived...  "Ewww....the smell!" THe apartment security pass was on the sofa.  There are pics of a couple on top of the television.  Are they related to the body??? or the person in the fridge is the owner?  Detective Steven Lim ordered Lisa to check the status of the owners.  The body was beautifully chopped at the joint.  There are blood on the bed on the walls n a deformed bloody bat was found at the bottom of the bed.  Is that the killing weapon?  Result shown.  The wife of the victim, Peter, was Estella, working at a nurse in TCK hospital. Estella was wanted by the police, n she surrendered after 3 days.




Xia Xue investigates her. " YOu kill him rite!?"  No I did not!  "Why did u do that?"  I did not kill him.  Mike killed him.  I knew nothing about that.  "Who is Mike?" "My secret lover....  But further investigation, Mike was a army officer who fell in love with Estella when she took care of him in private ward.  Mike was awarded to the hospital because his leg was fractured in an Army exercise.  It was love at first sight.  But it was all wrong from the start.  Estella was unfaithful to her husband, n they have sex in the ward after visiting hours with the nurse still wearing her uniform.  This wrongful Rs got on for 4 months.  Mike loves her, n wanted her, n they still made love whenever the husband is away.  But, they have to keep in real quiet.  One fine day, Peter came back at a surprised timing n seeing them in bed n confronted them.  Fight broke out, n Mike smashed Peter head like a watermelon with a baseball bat.  Blood filled the rooms flowing out of the bedroom door..Peter lying cold n motionless on floor.. Xia Xue," Lisa...Pursue this guy, Mike.  Make him our wanted list.  First degree murder.  In the next episode, Mike will be pursue n big story next time... Will Xia Xue get him? Or will there be more stories behind..





28th July 2007  0505hrs: Adventures of Inspector Xiaxue & Detective Steven Lim: Epi 1



Inspector Xiaxue was dreaming of her Daddy again.  The same scene enters her dreams again...It was her 7th birthday..She was holding her daddy's hand with her tiny hands to a nearby funfair..She loves her dad very much.  Jack was a hardworking widowed plumber that only sees his only daughter in his world. N today, he is going to celebrate his princess birthday. They turned into an alley.. Three gang members will sitting scatterly at the kerb.  Jack tried to avoid their attention n tugged Xiaxue to get out of the short cut to the fun fair.  One of them got up n blocked their way, placing his hand on Jack's shoulder.  "Sir, may we borrow a few ten dollars from you?"  "Sorry, we are busy... it is my daughter birthday today.." gently pushing the ruffian's hand away.  Ruffian was not very pleased, grabbing hold of Jack's hand again. "Listen, Mate... I need the money..You better give it to me...!" There was a small struggle n Jack refused to budge.  Little Xiaxue was very  worried n speechless.  Seeing their member in difficulty, two other ruffians got up to assist.  One trying to grab hold of Jack's from his back, n the other pulled Xiaxue away from him.  " Let go of her!!!!"  Jack broke free n pushed the guy hard.  The member wobbled to near falling down.  The real deal came.  The two others pounced on Jack.  Punches will thrown on Jack's face.  His noses n mouth was bleeding.  A few more punches on his chest n his abdomen...Jack was going down.  Xiaxue cried..... "Noooooooooooo! Daddy...!!!"  Tears streamed down from her eyes, but she could do nothing.  A couple that went passed the scene just fled.  When everything is over, Jack's body was left cold.  "Daddy...wake up! wake up!! I want to go funfair..You promised me to! Daddy........."  Crowds gathered around the dead body.  Xiaxue could only hugged his daddy for the last moments...Xiaxue hated the murderers so much!!!  They are never caught, but Xiaxue ambition is to become a policewomen in the town of Modash.  She wanted to eliminate all crimes in Modash.  Xiaxue woke up again with the same dream.  She covered her face in grief. She prayed to God... "Father..please give me peace...give me strength to take the post as a squad leader of uniformed police for my very first day"  Xiaxue has just been promoted, n she grabbed her towel......




Detective Steven Lim was borne to be a crime buster since birth.   He came from a well to do family, running a family business.  His paternal grandpa was the tycoon of a shipping company.  He has a full collection of transformers by the age of 5.  Steven got extremely high IQ of 185, topping his University of Modash as the top scholar, n was invited to join the police force of Modash.  Beside his intelligence, Steven got extremely good physique.  He ran 400m in 35 secs.  From far, you could softly admire his v-shaped body.  His arms was toned n the best part is he got Bionic powers.  He could lift a mini car above his head, n he could do a jump from the ground level to level 3.  Steven tried to cover his secret powers but uses these when hitting hard-core criminals.  Steven once nailed a pick pocket in a shopping mall by flicking a peanut at the ankle of the runaway.  The guy simply tripped n fall over to be apprehended by the public.  No one actually knew about his super strength besides his parents, of cos, the love of his life, Xiaxue.  They graduated together from the same cadet, working in the same Division but different departments.  They always love to compete who will climb the fastest in the promotion line.  But they are really almost the same rank.  Xiaxue was uniformed but Steven was plain clothed.  Steven was very happy with Xiaxue's promotion.  It was one month ago when Steven still teased her for being one rank lower than him.  Today, they are on par again.. Giggles..  It is a race between two silly people.  It seems like they are really destined to be a life of crimes busting.



But adventures will not make their life so easy as a law enforcers.  Next episode, a murder case unfolds..  Stay tuned.





18th July 2007  0412hrs: I was paid $50 to entertain Xia Xue for 15 mins. XX damn stuck up!  




This is really hilarious.  Dun no where Xia Xue got the info that I was paid only $20 for the Girls out Loud match making TV thingy with her... I was in fact paid $50 just to pretend to be her admirer for a while...Entertaining her for a while..It was not much I know, but they are rite..You paid peanuts, you get monkey.  I go there definitely for the TV exposure only, darling. U know, it is very happy to let someone believe that a guy can go wild over her.....You saw me sending her balloons, n a specially designed card with my semi naked pic in front of the cover.  All are not wat i prepared.  The fact is the producers asked me to buy things for her but i was simply too lazy to buy anything for a girl I was not attracted, so i ask them to prepare.  They prepared everything n i just sign n write something on the card to make her smile a bit, hopefully make her day.  But the fucking thing is She dare to give me that "She is so great" attitude when seeing me.  Oh pls...darling... I m there for TV exposure..  She gave me that look down on me stare.  But hey, xiaxue, do u realize..not that i m BHB...but if you are standing beside me on a street....I m definitely a hunk.  GIRLS still chase me now, darling n seriously, one even propose to me...I swear to GOD i m speaking the truth...People will just shout," who is that midget/ thing beside him"   All i m trying to say is you got no rank to say my face is disgusting.  You are not better urself.  And I really simply could not fall in love with a girl, which the feet cant touch the floor with sitting on the chair.  It is a proven fact.  Xiaxue is seriously a midget.  Check the dictionary.  See her in person, u know what i mean.  Those are not her arms n legs lor... They are so unreal.  I was trying not to laugh out loud when i see her feet hanging in the air couldnt touch the floor...Wah tall are u really or how short? LOL 1.4m???!!!  Short is not a problem...But i never harm you, you still wanna step on my tail.....This is plain evil lor....  His boyfriend, Mike, is handsome.  Why is he so silly to get such a no class but act high class girl... Mike, Bad choice can find a much better girl than her in Singapore..  You will regret very much one day n it is too late....You already make a bad move moving to Singapore..N wat i read about her blog entries pleases no guys who wants a steady relationship.  Her entries everytime got say she wants to shag which guy that guy.Tell yourself this that you really want a girl who always thinking of shagging this guy n that guy n Still dare to call Bangala n other people perverts.  This is really ironic!!  She herself fall in her own special category. Dun believe, you question her..Your marriage with her will not be pleasant n will be short-lived.  I will fall down if I lied about this. I m a blogger pioneer for sure...I had started blogging many many years ago even before XiaXue has started hers with my other previous weblinks.  She knows I m her senior n she is very disrespectful to list me as the one of the most disgusting bloggers in Singapore.  Look who is talking... She can say my face or my body ugly like nobody business n calling me a pervert face. FUCK MAN!..but it directly hurts my pride n feelings  n indirectly my parents who bear me.. Can i control how i look???!! Damn you ok! Yes, Xiaxue, you may be a blog queen now...but again..power is nothing without control...n you have gone overboard n stepped on my tail.. Your nose are fake, they cant turn back no big deal u becoming more beautiful ..Anyone can become  a beauty with plastic surgery.  But it is all fake...hopefully one day i pray that you nose will melt like Michael Jackson n drop into your Bee hoon soup.  LOL...Although nothing seems to be good about you..N i hate you for bullying me which i m just harmless to no one....there is one thing i must definitely make Singapore proud of you by doing wat you doing best....Blogging....Keep up the good work...but of cos, i still hope your nose will still drop one day lah for being so evil n sabotaged 6 others reputable bloggers in Singapore.  Guys, for those who tot that i m really poor..INFO: anyone who wants to invite me for a 10 mins performance has to have $300 in their pockets first ..  wat is the Laugh out loud $50 for me to attend your GIRLS OUT LOUD ...???  It is just my gesture of appreciation to be INVITED for the show to accept the $50?  So XiaXue, do not go too know nothing actually..Actually, I like Gillian, the production house's boss....She is so pretty n nice to me, unlike you!  Hmmp!  Dun play with u anymore!




05th July 2007  0322hrs: Shanghai is so beautiful that I dropped my tears at the neon lights...




I did go for the Shanghai Trip after all from 26th June to 4th July 2007.  This trip is really very meaningful to me. 1. to visit Tammy aka Stewen   2. to visit the most properous city in China.  Believe it all not, i used to hear people say how beautiful n developed Shanghai is compared to Singapore.  Singapore is definitely more clean, more financially stabled n safer to live in... but It is true... The Chinese City really beats Singapore hands down in sceneries....I actually dropped tears n wowed by the sights.  Imagine!!!  Shanghai got one exact replica of Orchard road shopping area over there at Xu Jia Hui...just that a bit more litters over there..Singapore looks more clean..BUT Shanghai got another  additional extra big n super grand n super super super beautiful whole street neon lighted shopping malls, restaurants, parlors, KTV shopping area.  Trust me, the Nanjing Bu Xing Street can really rape Orchard road over n over again....Orchard Road no fight.....Suntec City, no fight.. N beside that area were their ancient revamped buildings filled with beautiful night lightings...N it covers not just one small areas, it spreads like mushrooms all over the ample land...My jaw was liked so dropped to the fall ok with amaze..The girls are not exceptionally beautiful but the sceneries make it worth while..THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I TOOK SO MANY PICS OF A PLACE!!!..I realized i m really a frog in a well that never explored out of my own vicinity...N the best part is their standard of living is so low!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  From my estimation, food n expenditure in Shanghai is at least half priced or even lower of wat you can get in Singapore. For the nine days, although I saved on hotel money by living with Tammy.  I can easily afford to pay for everything in food n entertainment for two persons over there...PEOPLE! you really have to go there.....  It is one place so far that I went on tour that i dun feel like coming back again.....They even have MRT Trains over there exactly like in Singapore where u can go mostly everywhere!!!!!!!!!  This is madness!!!  But the down side is the policemen over there close one eye over everything...meaning lack of security n safety....They dun really care much!   I lived in a condo rented by Tammy n her flat mates...She cooked very delicious food especially vegetables..During the stay, she complaint that I got super low sexual desire which was a shock to me also..No sex even for the last night I spent with her before I come back to Singapore! not even the nights before..!!!  I felt so guilty!!!  She wants it, n keep crossing her legs over n put it there but I simply dun want leh..sianz..thinking of have to wash n bathe again..Not very good lah for future, my wife will sure complain too....From what i heard from her.......Most Shanghai ladies are very materialistic....Those Shuai ge or good looking guys will not get a girl easily without money..... Chase them is easy....Just got to have lots of money...You have to pay for everything till they die...  You got to have a house of your own, a car, money in order for them to consider marrying you. N you know what...if you marry them, you have to be responsible to ur China bride.  If you got another lover or worse, kid of a lover, ur wife sue u, u will be jailed for two years....bye bye.. But you know what.....People who can speaks English well can command a salary of $4000 sing dollars easily over there cos most of them dun speak english, n most of the writings are simplified Chinese which every Singaporean Chinese could read.  I seriously believe the reason why China still lose out to Singapore till now is only because of their stubbornness of not having compulsory English language learning.  Signboard also in Chinese some more...too stubborn le!!!  Most Singaporeans speak English n every signboards here is in English, thus we are more Caucasians friendly.  You will be shocked that when you started to speak english on the phone in Shanghai, everyone treated me like GOD.  Yes, welcome to Shanghai...!  Trust me, it is a paradise for all Chinese of the world.  Return air tickets only $599 including taxes....Remember to visit Shanghai soon!  Tips: get a cheap hotel at Xin Zhuang near Xin Zhuang MRT Station.  Take MRT n visit Xu Jia Hui, Si Ji Garden, Nanjing Bu Xing Jie (at night pls to see the super neon lights), Wai Tan n ren ming guan chang.  Just this locations you need at least 3 days to fully explore finished.  Plenty of Shopping n great for honeymoons guaranteed..  Dun believe up to you...Below will be some pics of Shanghai, judge it yourself.....Trust me, in reality, they are millions times more beautiful!












13th July 2007  0404hrs: News Flash!  Ex-NKF Head Durai faces bankruptcy crisis!!




I guess people are following on the lawsuit against Ex NKF head Durai, n anticipating for the verdict that will totally changes Durai's fate.  The issue is will he go bankrupt?  The paper said he got various choice.  If he really goes bankrupt, he will definitely have a impossible situation to find a situation in Singapore, as no one will dare to employ him.  Some say he could choose to go overseas to work.  His passport is currently under confistication.  He could not run out of Singapore n it is too late to sell his physical assets for cash for the run.  But this is really ironic, Durai n gang used to be big shot in the business industries...When they walked, wind would fly past time.....Why the hell they will end up in this shit mud?  No no...I m not being evil for sure.. I m empathizing Durai n Gang.   Can you imagine that, they used to be multi millionaires... Hokkein saying jia buay liao...(money cant be finished in this life span or too much money).  Now leh, they are not only facing a series of lawsuits, court cases n troubles, all arising becos of a story of the golden tap in the toilet.  Old working partners now testifying against Durai.  Durai said he bear no grudges against them becos they are just needing to tell the truth.  N he felt relieved n happy that the current NKF team are doing fine.  Kudos to the new team, but I will not boo the old one.  Yes....many evidences points that Durai is guilty.  He may have done wrong or mistake.  But it is no mistake NKF was at its prime n most popular with all the charity shows live telecasted on TV n bringing lots n lots of funds from the public.  He made NKF well known!  Yes, you are rite.  Power is nothing without control.  Durai's power should have be checked periodically.  Otherwise, things will not turn out so sour now.  Durai is very famous now, another guy wearing spectacles who left his dog at his home one but run for his life one immediately after being declared bankrupt may be under pursued by the police very soon if he still did not turn up.  For your info, that guy was a multimillionaire too n i always saw him on tv n newspaper one as someone very influential n powerful.  Now, he becomes a underdog suddenly.............Bankrupt some more...where to search food now?? Sigh..sad for him...I really hope that the new NKF will keep up with their good work of handling the organisation n people, take care of your kidneys well....Kidney dialysis is not cheap n we only comes with a pair....Ya.. I love you guys, take care....!  Wow, this blog entry sounds so serious rite?? about i ask you all a cold joke tot by me??  Which food like to undress themselve all the time??  Answer at bottom of the pic.






05th June 2007  0346hrs: I m an amazing movie goers...!




People! You never know how crazy i m towards watching movies.  My favorite past time is watching movie!!!  This poses a big problems becos I can watch one movie per day straight till 7 days.  I run out of movie in no time!  Can u imagine??? All movies, lousy, good ones, RA, M18, i all watch.  To the point, i can go to the box office one fine day n exclaimed, "Shit!  no more shows to watch liao..."  Not that i want ad anything....but seriously, I love watching movie in Cineleisure, cos the screening time is plenty, flexible n possibly have the best sound system in Singapore.  The staff n the ursherer I think can even recognize me when I m watching shows.  But the people there like to catch people...That time, I brought a skate scooter in n they attempt to stop me, saying it is too bulky.  Of cos I wun let them take my scooter lah! cos there was no valet parking for my scooter also...That time my motorbike broke down, so that skate thingy is my only transport.  Hey, sometimes it is nice u know to take MRT, buses, ya, sometimes....u just relax, no need to steer any wheels...let the train chomp chomp to ur destination.  But ya lah, u must walk a bit more.. n I hate walking leh...unless if I m doing that with my stead or lover  lah, it is different..we can walk walk, hand in hand...sometimes pause a while..adjust the hair, kiss a bit then walk again..then hug, french kiss then walk again..that one i can do that all my life....Now no stead lah, I prefer riding motorbike let the exciting wind kiss my face..I love motorcycling...Yesterday, very angry leh..! I called my best friend last Saturday n it was an oversea ring tone..Yest, I msn msg him...Hey, you went to the JB (Malaysia) spa ah??? You got fuck issit? Cos I m worried for him...!  He is single n he always like to frequent the spa for massage!  For me, different, I kia si (scared to die) one, I prefer to be alone n I dun like to be massaged.  N I seriously hate french kiss!  All my girlfriends forced me to french kiss them?!! Eeek! Y??!!! so most of the time, I rejected them.. Do you know what he replied in msn??  He said, " Hey..why...u fall in love with me issit?!!  You jealous issit??"  Wat the hell??!!! Fuck not gay lah...if you are not my best friend, I wun even want to care about u sia..  He said my ass needs to get fucked....Wah lau....say this kind of thing man!!  I suspect this thing started when i watch the spider lilies with him last week....It is a very lesbian show n I feel very weird watching this show with him...He loathes the show but I find it ok lah...cos first time see Rainie desperately act sexy but does not seem sexy to me leh...Well.. me thinking of going Shanghai soon for tour.  Maybe finding a wife from there..LOL!  anyone wants to join me for the trip??  Air ticket very cheap leh....Return tickets only SGD$560 including tax...anyone keen can sms me at 93857300.












































































Cathy - models





28th May 2007  0139hrs: Life is Suffering



As wat you have seen for the title, Life is short n suffering.  Government wants more babies to overcome the future problems of over aging population.  As what the Buddha has said.  Life is really suffering.  We dun even have the choice of whether we want to come to this earth or not.  I was created just becos of one night my parents suddenly decide to create a baby, then TOTO strike I was created.  So Zhun!  Maybe it is a mistake to give birth to me.  I dun exactly like the word, working.  We r forced to be born,  forced to study, force to learn how to walk, no choice must work, whereby i still think life is to be enjoyed.  Life is already so short n we throw our life to work.  Work destroyed time spent together among families, siblings n even lovers.  One week one week passed, then one year by year, then soon u realized u are at ur deathbed.   Currently, I spend my time mostly to surf internet, doing my own things, having enough beauty sleep.  I work less than 50 hours per month but still surviving well because recently i m into a international business whereby money works for me, every month I just wait to get paid only. For more info to be rich, can just contact me at 93857300.  Dun forget to thank me if u are in the money earning team!  My best friends are in because of me, n i want to share this big money earning thing with you.  Ya, contact me when u have around $11k n I guide u along.  The day before I took in two Chinese Models who are good friends, damn pretty! They just look striking lor..I recommend Fiona to one photographer, but he strangely he dun like.  Ya, but u all can still book them for any events. Pls kindly help me spread the model page link to all ur photographers friends, cos we also provide full range photo shoots (ranging from casual up to legal & private artistic nude).










CUTE RIGHT?  plus good figure!   full list n pics go to model's page pls




Ivy, Fiona 



















16th May 2007  0250hrs: Poor Christopher Lee, Poor Motorcyclist Also... Matchmaking is fun!



You guys sure dun no.....I love to matchmake people.  I love couples finally to be happily together.  I done this lots of times n really, 3 or 4 relationships are totally or indirectly created by me, back in my polytechnic life.  I always bring my buddy along for dates for girls that i like.  End up, they all got the girls.  Really idiot leh.  Some guy knows that i like the girl, they go n hold the girl's hand.....Arrgghh..but seeing them they like each other, I feel so happy for them.  For my best friend, L, I succesfully matchmade him once with a girl that I have a fling with.  N he still say thank you to me.  They were so happy untill they broke up.  Actually all broke up now n gone separate ways.  Recently, I never gave up.  I introduced him to my ex girlfriend which i used to cry for so much.  But now, actually i dun have any feelings for her cos I think she is not right for me.. Cos there is something i dun like about her which L can accept.  I was so hardworking, meeting them up n saying praises for both of them.  Telling them they must get together!!!  LOL.....then i left them alone for time together.  But I follow them for a while n sneaked a pic behind them while they are walking becos i find it so fun!! hahahahha......Both people are related to me!!  Me n my ex used to be very physically close together.  Dun think strayed pls.  Just very close lah!  N this L is my best friend ever!!  He stick by me even some people laugh at him for being my friend.  My best friend ever.  We been friends since 13 years ago.  So long le.... Pic of them is below.  Then at a shopping mall, i see a very very old couple strolling infront of me holding hands. old but still so sweet.  I dun think i will have that in my lifetime.  I m not a very good boyfriend becos i m very MCP n very prideful.  Romantically i m a 9.999/10.  Every exs hates my MCP but praise that I m very romantic in a way.  Nobody's perfect.  N i still cant get married.....SHIT Life lah....maybe i m destined to be bachelor forever.  They said matchmaker mostly cant get married one..Is it true? But I cant bear to see my best friend like me, so i matchmade them out of goodwill... L n J, pls do get together for my sake k?  Just give me a big ang pow if u get married.  haha... another case is the Christopher Lee's hit n run case.  I thought the injury of the passenger is light, but actually his toe was amputated!!!!!!!!!!!   AMPUTATED LEH!!!!!!!  SHIT MAN! I M A MOTORBIKER MYSELF n i cannot imagine that!!!!! So poor thing! But seriously, Christopher Lee also very poor thing.. So nice n shuai but kena this kind of shit case.  Jail somemore!!! 4 weeks jail term!  HOW TO SHIT INFRONT OF EVERYONE WHO KNOWS HE IS STAR!!!?  Report says all jailbirds live, eat, shit in the same place... So poor thing, but too bad his car hitted someone!! He is appealing I think but lawyers said he still wun escape jail term one. =(  So guys, next time remember dun drink n drive la.... End up alot of problems n follow up one. or some parts of body goes missing just like that.  No worth it!  Drink, dun drive.  Drink n u drive, u better go n die!!  0314hrs quote by Steven Lim.




 L n J,   sweet old couple




06th May 2007  1351hrs: KFC Suntec is so beautiful n the chickens r very nice.  Poor Xiaxue..



You guys must be wondering why I kick up a big fuss over KFC Suntec.  It is just chickens you may say.  Wrong.  First I must say, the chickens r really nice.....N the ambience of the place is so romantic, I cried n smile with myself over a set of two piece chicken meal.  I was walking to the food court initially but decided to visit the bathroom first.  I was so shocked n attracted by the whole design of the KFC restaurant from outside.  Yes, management, I really love the red couches design n the romantic lightings hanging just above the tables.  It is so sweet lor.... It is so high class n i die die must go in n eat.  I was simply dating myself at the red couches table.  I was smiling away n flirting with myself.  Plenty of smiles n the food is so nice.... Really... a good meal with good ambience really makes your day.  Oh my, I still have red flushes on my face after thinking of it.  Most KFC I visit before really lacks in sincerity, it seems to me it is just a fast food restaurant that serves nice food.  KFC Suntec really makes me drop my spects.  Yeah, I drop 5 6 pairs at least.....hahahha... People, trust me, go down there n try the red couches seat.  Be it with your loved ones or your dates, they will fall in love with u again n again.  I also watch 200 pounds beauty.  I cried again....the main female lead not only can act, can sing n is pretty enough for the audience.  The main lead sibei handsome man....kaoz, if i m a girl, i m sure easily fall heels over him one..  the soundtrack n the story plot are all thumbs up.  Just when i m feeling suicidal,  these small little things brings me up again n boost my morale.  I find my life so meaningless.  Every day work work, if not sleep, watch movie, eat dinner...all so routine.  Ya, it is just a thought.   One day my life will still end anyway, n it is not guaranteed it will ends well too. Maybe i will not do it..  Hahah...Ya..there is a recent case of Xiaxue went over malaysia n almost run down by a car.  I think Xiaxue is at fault.  She admit she is thinking of something n perturbed, n she walked slowly across the road.  THIS IS NOT UR FATHER"S ROAD!!!!!!   When he almost run u over, u should b at least be apologetic especially u are in the foreign country.  WHy the hell u point him the middle finger for fuck??!!!  You are in the wrong n u still middle fingered him....Anyone will be very Tu Lan one.... Almost knocked down someone who thinks she owe the road n that very person still points finger at him..... Tu lan or not, u tell me...  You should watch the road right left right ....which school u from, u tell me...Your school never bring u to safety park before or not meh?...People, me not trying to put her down.  She is a really talented blogger but being too rash is how can...Later the Malaysians thought we Singaporeans go Malaysia big fuck...Cos we are not, we are just nothing..I cannot bear the thought if he really punches her for being so Guai Lan..She had it coming for sure but Xiaxue, i care for your safety ok.. You so pretty now n I dun want anyone to hurt you....N please, do not suan n belittle the poor Bengalahs...You cant blame them.. they are so away from their countries n of cos they will be a bit more excited with any pretty girls.  Dun say Bengalahs, any people from any nationalities will have the same needs when they are stranded in a country.  Above is just my opinion.. I wish all of you happinese.. =) below is my model from my modeling team.





30th April 2007  1445hrs: I hate mosquitoes!!!!! Please someone kill them pls pls pls!!!



Why??  Is this the mosquitoes breeding season??!!  There are an increase numbers in mosquitoes around my house area!!! Must be the rain...or must b the construction work nearby... Shitz man.....They kept disturbing me when i m sleeping n now every time i sleep at around 7am in the is worse..the sun n the stupid buzzing mosquitoes around my ears, n the itchy biting on my hands n legs are driving me nuts.  I tried to cover myself in blankets but i sweat.... KNN!!! my life so terrible sia.....Kill the mosquitoes...they may carry diseases n dengue fever....eekk.....N they are getting smarter n bigger....damn!!!  They keep on biting u hourly.....bloody draculas!  When u realized that n wanted to defend, they flew away....when u lay back again, they sneak back again....this can carry on for 3 the hell can i sleep?!!!!  Then they hover like an helicopter above your head  zzz zzz  zzzzz......... Go away lah!  Arrggh! Damn irritating lor.... Ladies n Gentleman, have this problem like mine??? I found an fast n direct solution to tat this me kill the mosquitoes!  Best weapon is your sleeping pillow....sit up against a wall so that the mosquitoes will not attack u from behind. tug in your legs near to your body but at the same time lure mosquitoe with your smelly legs....Get ready....when it approaches, fast n in one swift action, wham it hard on it with the largest surface on your pillow.....It sure faint one....on the side of the floor....Then ur choice, up to u whether u want to kill it or not with a stomp of your foot or ur palm, cos another 5 mins more it flies up again n attack u again..  Mosquitoes are the only living things i kill in this world... N I hate it when i kill them cos I dun like to hurt anyone....cos i know how painful it will be when i smack it flat....arrgghh....force me to kill....sianz lah!!!  But no choice, those blood sucking mosquitoes are mostly female, if they get blood, they may produce more babies to buzz buzz us.........That will be the end of the world le......  Happy news is i got a few professional studio photo shoots coming up for my models.. My clients are very happy with the models I provide.  We provide casual, bikini, lingerie or artistic nude photo shoot.  Reality is reality, if u dare to do it, do more within legal limits, you will get paid more.  For a few of my models who dare to show it for the niche market, people are willing to pay to do real professional training on their photography skills.. absolutely no hanky panky or extra services!  i work as their nanny plus gives them advises on their poses n ensure their safety n coordinate everything.  No pain, no gain.....




20th April 2007  0240hrs: No more hands to use, no more legs to walk    Written by "Dragon"



It is that time of year again...  That day i was riding my bike along the side of road to squeeze pass heavy traffic.  There was thunder n lightning before that.  just before i advance...i was really blocked by the cars in front...idiot car cant let me squeeze thru.  Just after i finished cursing, a big tree branch fall on top of the "idiot" car.... Er...if not for that car, i will have been hit by it.  Must have been the lightning.  Life was good.  Met many beautiful people along with my modeling team.  More things to be done to push them to good assignments.  I want to sell them.  If they got any, it will be good for me too... Really like some of them, finding they have really good potential to make it big...just need some clients to see the good in them... =)  Today got one photoshoot for me, n i have not sleep yet...hahha...always sleep very late....these days i slept at around 7am in the morning!!!! madness...then sleep till 3 -4pm in the want to listen to adventures stories??   George was running....he was panting hard.  His sweat dripped all over.. His creditors was just behind him...with parangs n bats..he has to run..if not, he might not see his family again..  George flashback.  He gambled too much... Lost too much...borrow from loansharks...his family business of selling ginseng collapsed becos of him..he feeling sad..he knows he should not be greedy..should not get more from the loansharks...It is too late... one of them got hold of his hands.. n chop it with his parang...his last finger was still dangling there...blood..George yelled in pain...he kicked his chaser's buttock n attempted to run again...100 metres away..he collapsed..they caught up...surrounded him.. George blanked off...  When he worked up, he saw Jenny his wife crying so badly... he felt pain.... He find that he has no limbs left.... chopped...  No money, dun gamble... Got money, save it...






05th April 2007  0230hrs: Bobby & Miller, the killing     Written by "Dragon"



Bobby n Miller are best of friends..They share the same hobbies, like pc games, squash n watching girls go by at the mall.  LoL.  They like the same food, Spaghetti m Nasi Lemak n study at the same class.  They are uni undergraduate in Electrical Engineering (triple E for year one).  They always go on tour together to Malaysia taking economical coaches to city of the country, Kuala Lumpur etc etc.  Nothing can break them up. Or is it so?  They are joining the same CCA, Chess Club.  A new girl came into the club.  Sarah was very beautiful.  Every guys want to play with her, i mean chess...She charms the two best of friends too.  From starting with a game of chess, she n the two guys become very good friends.  They always hang out together.  Sarah falls in love with both of them emotionally.  Bobby was cute n adorable.  Miller was alot more reserved n she loves his silence.  Something went really wrong.  Both guys loves her too.  But they tried to hide their feelings.  She started dating one to one with each of them.  She kisses, hugs n sleep with both of them too.  Wat the?!  Both guys does not know they were dating, because they know that you n me love Sarah.  This ridiculous relationship carries on for 3 months without knowledge.  But Sarah was stressed out, her academic dipped.  She know that she has to make a decision, but she does not know where to start.  Her friends gave her advises to give one up, but she cant.  She does not know wat to do too.  Till one day....  Sarah n Bobby was having an intimate time at Bobby's room.  Miller phone called, "Bob, wat are u doing?"  Bobby:"Not now, Miller...I m shagging..."  Miller:"haha..dun lie..with whom? dun give me that fake shagging noise ok! hahha..dun act lah.."   Bobby:"Er... i m shagging Sarah..."    Miller:"Wat?! Pardon me! Sarah is my girl!"  Then confusion starts!  Sarah panicked n teared.. Bobby: SARAH!  WAT IS IT!? WHAT IS IT I DUN NOE?!   Sarah: I love both of u so much..I sorry i betrayed both of you   Miller: Fxxx!! You pathetic Bob! You shagged a woman i just shagged two hours ago! Fxxx you!!! Loser....  Bobby was furious n yelled back n turned crazy..There was a struggle n he wanted to slap Sarah.  Sarah kicked him in his butt.. .Bobby lifts up his computer stool n smash it against Sarah's back brain.." Bitch, go n die!"  Blood spluttered out.. the blood was running heavily like the waterfall.. There was no cure...She fell n never got up again.  There was an yelling at the room door...n the door was broken.  Miller ran in n was shocked by the whole thing.  He stood there..... "Bob...wat have......"  Bobby gave himself up to the police.  He was sentenced to 10 years jail for man slaughtering...Miller continued his life alone..He lost his best friend n a girl he loves so much... 





23th March 2007  0500hrs: Tony N Maggie, An Alien Earthling Love Story  written by "Dragon"



Tony is an alien from Mars.  He arrived in a spaceship when he was a baby.  His parents r aliens too..very sad.. Their planet was under attacked by aliens from Pluto, whom they called themselves The BuBus..Immediately after his parents send the spaceship, both were massacred.  A pair of Father n Mother Donkeys found him n raised him in the woods.  They called him "ass".  Father Donkey will patiently fetched him to human school everyday.  He played with the kids n learnt to talk humanly.  Tony has supernatural power to read people minds.  He gets chicks easily n is extremely well received by everyone.. Everyone loves Tony.  He played Rugby n learnt Tae KwonDo n enjoyed playing soccer.  One fine day, Tony n his gang was as usual playing street soccer, 3 - 3 formation.  Everyone was so high n having fun.  A cross in, Tony gives a bicycle kick, it went high n smashed the window of house nearby.  Almost immediately, whole of the gang dispersed almost immediately n many r hiding behind trees n rubbish bins.  But Tony has no choice, that was his ball n he kicked it.  "Bad luck! Sway ah!" said Tony.  With anxiety, he knocked on the door, in his mind, an old furious old man will come out running n kick his ass.  The door opened, a young girl about 18 years old came out holding the ball close to her chest.  She does not seem very happy but she still look very beautiful.  The eyes was big, hair straight n there was love at first sight. "Er..sorry lady, that is my ball.  I can pay for ur parent's windows too" "No need, we have nothing but money here.  We will fix it.  But could u kindly dun play around here? You may hit an old person" "Ok lor...." Then they kiss good bye.  But they could not forget each other.  Tony read her mind.....""""Idiot, play soccer smash people's window still dare to come n pick ball.  But hey, he is cute.  How can i ask for his number?  Ya, i ask him to leave his number in case daddy needs him to pay up""" Tony was sneering away.  hahahahhaa.... The very next day at the same time around 3pm,  Tony was alone right outside the very same house.  He threw hard at the same broken windows again.  Now, windows got worse. Door opened.  " Wat the hell are u doing again?!!" "I want to see u again. I dun mind smashing your windows again every day at 3pm.  I m like you.  I dun have anything but determination"  The girl, Maggie, was touched.  From that day onwards, Maggie joined in the gang n become the new goalkeeper!  ya, Tony n Maggie were together from then on...  Love you..






04th March 2007  0122hrs: Robin N Sarah: A Love Tragedy  written by "Dragon"




In this blog entry, I do a different thing.  I will write a love tragic.  Enjoy.  Sarah enters her new school. It is a new academic year. She is expecting more.  She wants more fun, excitement, not just studying.  She wants to feel loved.  In short, she wants to get laid.  Lol...watever it is, she wants to get a boyfriend or steady lor..  Everyone was new n strangers to everyone.  But, a guy, Robin,caught his attention.  His golden flock blowing in the wind was pretty cool n sexy n he wears a spect, but was buffed up though.  In her mind, she said..."Hmm, this is my type, i want him to be my boyfriend!"  But on the other hand, Robin secretly love at first sight Sarah too.  Fire burns fast, from strangers, to friends, they spent time on projects together, till close friends n without surprises, they become a couple.  They went to beaches together n suntan naked in one of the coast... They simply loved each other... Sarah loves his kisses very much..He always gently give tiny pecks on her forehead n will gently hug her tight from the back.. Sarah will turn her head n kiss back.. Sarah hates French kissing though.  One fine day, they will playing in the sea water.. A jelly fish stings Sarah's big fat leg.  Sarah ouch ouch ouch in pain.  Robin shouted, "wat happen?!"  Sarah said, "Cant you see i m bleeding!? Just shut up n help me"  Robin quickly waddle over, but accidently trip over a rock n smash into the water.n fainted... Tsunami comes at this time.  Before Sarah can reach over, they r separated.  Sarah survived, n Robin could not be found again.  Robin was killed when wanting to help his girlfriend.  Poor couple could not be together anymore....  =( sad lah...A few more days I got infantry reservist, super sianz lah..but no choice rite, National Service but you this, I love you, guys!





11th February 2007  0500hrs: Xiaxue can go hell pls.  She's so bitchy n she looks like a dwarf!!!!!!!!




Strange man, alot of people like to sprout nonsense about me.  One case of rubbish talker is Xiaxue.  She said I acted stupid in her show "Girls Out Loud" during a supposedly date session with her.  All I can say, all are acting.  This is TV entertainment n I want to entertain.  I entertain her by  pretending to like her in the show.  I was invited by producer, Gillian Tan from Munky SuperStar to play the part of her date.  Who will like dwarfs as girlfriend? pls tell me.....!!! She is very average looking for sure n her legs like miniature pork chop, n she is so bloody short lor..... I dun like "Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs".   For me, I was often classified as a hunk in real life.   In the set, Xiaxue is very stuck up n proud, kept directing me what to do n what not to do and act etc etc... Pls lor.. I done shooting more than you lor... You r teaching a fisherman how to fish... I just diam diam only...n just continue acting to have smitten by you, but u keep giving me an indifference look.  Really sibei sianz..  I was paid a high $50 by Gillian to go on date with you one.  You should be honored, Midget!  Cos I was paid a $300 for a less than 10 mins private performance. In real life, if i will to go out with you, I will feel so ashamed n paiseh, n will weep on my hands when covering my face.  I dun have bad taste for sure.  Could u pls go for more plastic surgery?  You need more help than the nose job!!!  Ever considered leg extention?  To say the truth, I like Gillian..She is beautiful, tall n runs a own company..You cant even compared to her...I was laughing at you in my heart when u entered the set.. i said, pls dun fall down or i will burst out laughing!!! LOL! then when u sat on the chair, i could not control it anymore, your legs cant touch the floor....Hhahahahhaha..that is why i keep smiling....But hey, although I just want to share my feelings, thanks to you n Munky, I was able to appear in the show.  That one I must really thank you, which i able to put a milestone in my life.  Listen, Snowy, I dun hate you, but neither do I like you...But I m very impressed by the success of your blog..n pls do jia you...n continue to be the best blogger in Asia but honey, seriously I dun love you.. pls dun fantasize too much...






03rd February 2007  0500hrs: Love, Love, Love....Arrghh!!! Love!!??



Recently, my internet friends seem to have love issues like me too.  There is one girl whose boyfriend slept with her best friend n they get kinky in a school classroom some more.  Wat the??!!!  becos the boy confessed it to her n she was terribly upset about it but forgive the parties involved.  Does teenagers nowadays have to get so desperate??  Why could not they meet up in their houses in stead or behind close doors in hotels.  Why the hell have to do that in classroom?!  I even read in newspaper students have sex in toilet for the handicapped some more.  I cannot believe it!! Imagine the disabled was waiting outside the door, wondering what took the person inside so long to come out.  Some more hear some weird sounds coming from inside, then two embarrassed people eventually come out from it.  If i m the handicapped, I will not dare to use the bloody toilet.. who knows what what sticky stuffs your wheels be sticking on when you roll in.  Your whole wheel chair can go n burn already!!! LoL!.Handicapped toilets are not a good place for sex n intimacy.  The floor so hard n cold there how to do?!  Remember the china girl that I broke up with recently??  Last Sunday, she returned me money she owed n insist she will treat me to supper.  We have a nice chat at MacDonalds n talked about unforgettable stuffs n sweet memories n how she took care of me.  We both broke down n cried.. =(  But i told her, every good things must come to an end somehow.  I walked her for 200m at 4am.  I shook her hand n asked her to be strong n be diligent in her work.  She suddenly just hugged me real tight n refused to let me go....i hug her too, wanting to give her a last good bye kiss on her forehead...before I flagged a cab for her.. Sad lah........Just now, she msg me some rather moving smses... "how come i could never escape from your shadow?" "Why for girls when they lose the one they love, she will be heartbroken n sad.  For guys, only regrets.. Love is woman's everything, where for guys, it is just a small portion" "Till today, i then realize how much i love u" "I love you, very very much"  I feel abit affected when i see the msgs n i give her really short replies like "Ok.  Appreciated, Regrets, Move on!"  People, Shall I patch back with her?  Tell you all the truth, she is one of the most beautiful girlfriends I have ever before..Most of you must have known Taiwananese actress Beatrice Xu Weilun was killed in her mini cooper accident, being hitted by a big lorry from behind.  She is a recognizable face for all, n all never know that she will die young.  She is beautiful, but she is way too skinny! Any small hits on her will cause major injuries I think.  The fall of a shooting star....Gone forever.....Bye bye, cute cute Weilun....








25th January 2007  0208hrs: Bought a skate scooter last Sunday, Loses interest in girls.     Real Story told by Melvin



Really dunno wat is wrong with me.  I almost lost interest in girls already.  Just one week ago, I got two very nice girls with me.  Both wanted to patch with me very recently.  Last month at the same time, I got four girls that had feelings for me.  This is pretty crazy, four girls age 17,18,19, 26.  The 17 years old I think is the prettiest of them all.  The 26 years old was a super rich daughter of a Tycoon somemore! Well, I dun think I m really that gorgeous, but i guess every dog has its day.  Continue my story, my second girlfriend took really good care of me when I fell ill last Wednesday, from stomach flu.  Whole nite she was not sleeping because she was very worried over me.  I was totally weak with all the aches from my back rite up to my legs, n was running a high fever.  She rubbed me all over with soaked towels again n again in the middle of nite to cool me down n making me lots comfortable.  Ya, she is a great girl but I could not handle two girlfriends I think.  I felt very pressurized n stressed when I could not work but accompany her.  Well, I m very well now but I broke up with her on last Sunday because I see no future with us together n she in a way pissed me off so much on that day.  In front of me, she can turn n stare at other guys till they disappeared.  She promised to spend time with me that day but yet go out with colleagues n sing karaoke!  I m a freaking MCP, I cant stand it! Anyways, I cant married two women.  I felt so stressed with no time for myself.  If this three persons relationship carries on, one day I will die of stroke for sure.  I do not even have time for myself.  So fed up with her, I went to carrefour Suntec alone n bought a very awesome toy, a skate scooter at $28 only!!!  That is so bloody fun..If you enjoy roller blading, u will love it more. I skate here skate there like no body business under my house n from suntec all the way thru city link to city hall mrt.  It was so cool!  You must buy n try.. Everyone keeps looking at this big monster on a winy small scooter, keke, i enjoyed the attention though.  a lot good movies i watched recently like Apocalypto n Painted Veil.  Painted veil may seem boring without any good advertisement, but slap yourself two times, you are very wrong.  It is a very nice show.  I really feel like getting married, n have a small "Steven" of my own.  By the way guys, I have a new additional name.  You could call me "Dragon", Dragon Lim in future.  Thanks!  God bless.....





09th January 2007  0210hrs: I dun like 2007, bring me back 2006.....




2007 already pass a few days already.  I keep thinking I m still in 2006.  When people mentioning this year wat wat wat, i say huh? 2006? then i say oh ya ya, 2007.  I lost a lot of thing over the new year, i lost my 2.5 years girlfriend, lost in Never Say Die which i still think i dun deserve the judges 16.7/30 points.  I watch the repeat myself observing my speech n my actions...Sianz....God also dun like me..Feel very bad my relatives n my supporters, n yes strangers too, that threw in alot of money for me..Below will be a pic of my adorable 16 years old supporter plus eyebrow customer, Alethia whose mother liked n voted for me during the NSD.  I will slap anyone silly who says I dun have supporters.  I have supporters from 12 years old up to 60 years old for your info! Never get my desired contract never mind, cos I think Rong Meng deserve the winner, but I just let all of them n myself down..Sad lah for that. Ya..Just heard from a male Christian friend from a church, that premarital sex, masturbation, petting n passion r sins.  Really?!  The pastor will openly advise people not to do it n I must agreed it is a very noble intention.  But wah lau, then it must be sibei sianz for their partners..How many Christians actually follow that rule strictly i want to find out.. From a magazine survey, more than 90% of guys M themselves, the rest of the 10% must be Christians from this theory le.  But i dun believe leh, or the guys being surveyed are all non-Christians or cannot one. Luckily, I always keep myself pure n innocent, because I believe Christian Girls make damn pretty n faithful girlfriends lor, as there is one saying,"If you love a person, you must love her dog as well"...Ya..but i respect all religions although myself I m a free thinker.. Watched "Confession of Pain" yesterday n eat by myself alone yesterday....The movie damn nice n smart lor!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Must watch!!!  Die Die Must Watch Movies includes:  Night in the Museum, Flyboy, Confession of Pain     I dun really like Borat, movie so short!!!!  Happy New Year! =)  but  )=   I still miss my ex (Finally, I have worn your Giordana shirt you bought for me as in the pic)  I was wrong, I in fact look nice in the dun have bad taste afterall n it does not look like ah pek's.. Sorry....... Darling ex..... in pain again... 






10th December 2006  1610hrs: Learning to Drive A Car




After living for thirty years, I decided to learn to drive a car.. Been riding motorbike for 4 years, after going thru a few accidents, i still enjoy riding.  I enjoy the breeze!  But now, I want to learn more....I want a car as well... Car is bulky, inconvenient, really redundant during a jam...cos expressways always jam one...But seeing people owning a car, I want to ride n drive too...n but again, driving an unbranded car is abit so unglam n small sized n being outrun by every vehicles in Singapore...I want a Mercedez leh....I see the Merz Taxi drivers can fight with my ninja kawasaki...Sometimes i just let them pass me, seeing them so determined to outrun me...Powerful engine i must say...Brand does comes with quality, I say...I took my PDL last month...started learning for a few lesson...haha..the first instructor got fed up with me n refused to teach me again n he refer me to his friend...Perhaps I did not understand the first one well... Second instructor is strict, but i like...I learn quite fast becos of him..doing my reverse n forward riding n U-turn not badly done..And it is fun n I feel safe!!!!!!!!!!! booooommmmmmmm.....cant wait to get my car licence...Final theory on this coming tuesday...Damn 120 odd pages to theoretical!!!!!!  just browse 110 pages already...i must pass this then i can straight away book for my practical traffic police test le!!!!!!!!!!! Once I have a car, Mon, Tues, Wed, Ninja Kawasaki,  Thurs Friday Benelli Adiva Scooter, Saturday n Sunday Weekend Car...Ha ha...seriously like my wife n concubines sia..........They always call their cars Lao Po aka wife... This is the one moment guys can have wives n many concubines at the same time legally! =D Ya, next year, i m going to take my final Motorcycle Class 2 bike lesson le!  Hayabusa, my 1300cc dream bike, here i come!  I love u guys!!!!!!!!!!!!




13th November 2006  0257hrs: "The amazing Charm of Chinese Girls from China, "   Real story told by Melvin




You all may think I m going to talk cock again using the topic.  You r wrong.  China girls r really very very beautiful.  Their skin texture perfect, with natural rosy cheeks especially those who have sweet dimples on their face. Their features for girls from Shanghai, n many provinces are very perfect. Chinese girls adore me, maybe I m not that extraordinarily ugly n I m friendly enough.  Not that i want to brag, I strongly admit that I got the look, build n is charming enough.  You may say they just need the Permanent Residence to stay in Singapore for good, that is why they threw themselves to me.  They got good taste at least for choosing me cos I know how to appreciate them.  Trust me, put the most you think pretty Singaporean girl/guy beside a regular China girl or Japanese Girl/ guy, will become an ugly girl le...So poor thing...We r really frogs in the well....We never know how big is the world n how pretty is the world outside.  My China ex girlfriend firmly tell me, "Shanghai is more beautiful n advanced than Singapore!" I strongly argued with her...How can that be?!  But...I may be wrong...Chinese r well known for producing cheap easy to spoilt products....But I must say one thing, the girls they produced ......Thumbs up!  I can never like another Singaporean girl's face again i guess.  I could not forget the beautiful n nice China girl....She is seriously beautiful, brainy, super good skin, figure, nice n holds high EQ...  She left me becos I m too demanding n I told her I could not marry her...for some reason..BUT I WANT TO BE WITH YOU, Yan !  3 persons sleeping in the same room is ok n we can definitely work things out happily together!  I remembered she in a way threw herself to me that day we met..She keeps praising how handsome, how fine I m with my looks n built, saying if I m in China, girls sure go crazy with me.  Hey guys, can u resist this if a very pretty girl tell u this?  Things went very fast..The romance is unforgettable as we spent almost every day of the 13 days short relationship together.  I almost tot that I was married to her.  She loved me, n I liked her very much...One fine day, I threw my temper out of something at her n stared at her being an MCP myself, I asked her to leave my house, only to find myself chasing after her to pacify her....I was so regretful!  It is over.......  I m a fool, I m an idiot, I feel suicidal, my heart bleeding in pain....................!  Ouch....! 






13th September 2006  0456hrs: " My Kawasaki Ninja ZXR 400's Motorcycle Trip to Kuala Lumpur"




Hi guys, I feel very man owning a motorcycle.....  I own two, I m twice manly.   I like challenges n adventures n i just came back a few hours ago from Kuala Lumpur, with my 400cc Kawasaki Ninja Bike.  This is the fourth time I rode a bike to Kuala Lumpur.  The distance is crazy, approximate 365km X 2 ways. (730km).  This crazy trip spoilt my headlights, making the high n low beam lights malfunctioned.  Must spend money again!  But I got my privileges too!   Petrol is cheap (half of the price in Singapore)  n overall is cheaper by half without taking a coach if you bring a pillion rider along, minus the extreme labor of fighting against strong winds with very fast vehicles going past you.  Whole journey was definitely bloody dangerous.  On 11th Sept 2006, I woke up at 4am to fetch my female friend from her house n we reached the custom before 5am.  No jam as not many people.  I was smart to choose this timing.  You can try going to or coming back from JB during the day from 6am to 9pm.  Simply not worth it riding a bike to visit malaysia at these timings.  The bike can jam from the custom long long long till the end of the bridge.  Not that I m bragging, a guy who owns a bike is a real man.  Trust me, we take risks you dun see even though we know we are vulnerable.  A person who takes his bike on an adventure is definitely very very very man.  I took three different bikes on adventures,3 times two 150cc bike n one time 400cc bike.  I m totally proud of myself.  Every trip promises you some blemishes on the face plus whole body totally smoked.  There are no street lights in most part of the journey, so traveling at night is cool but more dangerous.  You finally find out that your low beam light r useless!  When u reach KL, die die must visit Sungei Wang n BB plaza.  The things r very cheap n nice.  I bought a branded digital video cam/ MP3 player/Audio recorder plus one 512 memory card at just 200 Sing dollars!  Guess what? It is 6.6 Mega Pixel.  Wat is the difference riding a 150 cc n 400cc bike to KL?  150cc =>  Big bus/ coaches/ lorries, trucks go past  you, your 150cc bike will wobble like crazy n you feel very unsafe!  400cc =>  Heavy bikes.....A lot safer!!! Wobbling is not much, perhaps the most just a tiny tiny bit.  I dun care one, I just zoom past them as fast as possible to reduce the tremors.   How fast I ride with Ninja 400?  Can't tell you but I overtook many cars but also anxious about my safety.  But seriously speaking, some cars can go very very fast, especially those jeep kind n sports car.  I let them past me rather than race my life with them.  My female friends bought lots of clothings n I hate shopping with girls, so we mostly shop on our own n we meet up later at a time.  Wat can I say?  So all bikers, I strongly advise you to take your bike to KL, only then u r fit to call a real biker!  I m already qualified.  When is your turn?




Some KL pics (click to enlarge)






(left is Jalan Bukit Bintan, followed by me during beautiful sunset)







30th September 2006  1843hrs: "My Make up In-Camp Training experience with 609 SIR/ ATEC evaluation"




Just came back from my infantry Make Up in-camp Training from Tanjong Gul Camp from 20th Sept to 29th Sept 2006.  The camp damn bloody far near Tuas, The ATEC evaluation siong like hell for an 30 years old old man like me.  I missed one 608 SIR's high key Australian training n have no choice but was attached to Unit 609 Sir to do reservist Atec twice!!!!  This is my second high key ICT for 2006!  Damn suay sia...  609 Sir is 2005/ 2006 best NS unit n  I was very fortunate to joined this unit in Bravo Company.  My own unit, 608, got a recon 3 (nearly failed) for our Atec.  I jolly well know what went wrong with my unit.  Well....for 609 SIR, at first i was very uncomfortable to see all new faces n i was one of few new guys in their company.  But they surely put me at ease, as they recognised me almost instantly as a celebrity n started to mingle with me with appreciative praises.  Trust me, sometimes it is cool being a Star.  Besides always being over charged in many merchandises u intend to buy, u got bombarded with many special nice treatments/ good customer services as well.  All treated me very well except one commander not from my section gave me attitude.  Damn you!  I never offend you n you give me attitude.  Dun let me see you outside, me just tolerating u for these 10 days in-camp only.  I m very confident if one to one i fight with you, u sure lose one.  My 20 pull up strength is not trained for nothing.   %%$%$E%$&$&$&$*%(^@@@  Trust me, I was surprised.  Most of the people inside r Hokkien soldiers, meaning those bengs bengs gangster gangster type with tattoo n keep smoking everywhere.  There is even one guy with a dragon n his chest n with the claw grabbing the Neh neh (nipple) funny lor!  But be surprised, they r very nice people n I was surprised, even though they never study much, they r in trend n hi tech!!!!   They know how to operate bluetooth, use internet, connection, cell phone file transfer blah blah blah....especially the one that came out from the 3 years jail.  Our army was also very high tech.  Every one of us was equipped with tracking devices thru satellite.  Any where we go, we r locked.  Trust me!  I was bloody happy with these gang of guys.  Met new friends, found some true friends too!  Can someone just slap me silly?!  ha hahahahahaha...  My Platoon commander is a nice person but cannot make it one lah...  very inefficient in  giving command n orders during an attack n most of the time, dun no what to do..Attack an objective took super long till our MG gunners support fire till no more rounds. Wat the!  Sir, no offense, but I know you have a nice civilian job n you r a nice person.  My Company 2 IC does not look very intelligent but he was very talented n speak well..... My god, I was so impressed that he was so eloquent!  There are a few civilians actors went up our defense ground n started to yell "We want peace, we dun want War!  War kills our son..blah blah blah..."  He personally engaged the whole situation till the civilians left speechless.  Clap Clap..!  During the ATEC, I was shagged out with two sleepless nights.   Other unit do the most one dawn attack n one day quick attack.  609 SIR did two long 10km dawn attacks!!!!!!!!!!!   Wat the hell!!!  Damn shagged lor...But something I want to add, the Commanding Officer (CO) of 609 SIR is definitely the soul of 609 SIR.  He was promoted slowly from a lance corporal till sergeant, then convert to officier then major.  He knows how we men feels....  He lifted our spirits, talks the right words, say the rite things, n is extremely motivating..  All people in 609 loves him, I can bet on it.  That is why the reason 609 SIR did better.  I could never forget, he patted the the shoulders of every one one in the unit from the first till the last one for one mission.  You can say that he is being fake, watever, but I want to say that at least he got the heart n put in the effort to encourage everyone of us.  He is our Jesus...  I could never forget this exciting ICT....  I hate reservist, never wanted to see you people again in ICT, but definitely you make my ICT alot happier, exciting n an easier one.  Congratuation 609 SIR, result is out..... RECON 2A!!!!!  We deserve it..........................Ya!



    some memorious pics with my army comrades



  Me, Steven Lim              Keevin & Desmond    






09th August 2006  1341hrs: " Bought a Kawasaki Ninja ZXR 400 monster motorbike!  "




Spent alot of money recently.  Bought a third hand Class 2A sports motorbike, Ninja Kawasaki ZXR 400.  Dun really like the color because it is black n the engine too powerful.  Big, 65 horse power n it zooms like a sports car.  When engine starts, its headlight will blinker up like one too.  But all my female friends go crazy over the bike saying how cool it is n express extreme displeasure when I told them my idea to change to a super four.  Its power beats Honda Super Four flat even when it starts.  I hear the engine goes, I will tremble.  Crazy mad bike!  Really cannot imagine a Class 2A bike can be that powerful le.  The feel n excitement is completely different, even though I rather live longer by not speeding. What about those Class 2 with 600cc and above?  I tell you, if u skid in expressway with these heavy bikes, either die or leg can quack quack quack le...  N my entire groin part is so painful as it was forced to kiss the tank as the sport bike seat is very sliding.  No choice, I begin to place an elbow guard there when riding.  All sport biker, it works, try it!  Rather having a squashed banana n your wife complains that you look like a toothpick.  Riding a class above 2B feels superior.  A privilege given to have the extra power till 400cc.  Can't wait to get a Class 2 license soon. (400cc n above)  Vroom..........!  Cannot believe Singapore government allow these super bike to travel on the road.  Tremble......but I love it!






21st June 2006  0306hrs: "Star Idol 1st Runner-Up Leo Lam Beats My Good Friend, Lim Hui Hui!  A Police report was filed against him"



Love, relationships & heartbreaks can really make a person go crazy.  I was really in love with a girl before, the moment I lost her, I felt helpless totally n that my life just could not carry on anymore.  Leo Lam from Star Idol also could not break away from this curse of love.  My impression of him was of his mild-mannered character n does not talk much n someone with absolute n very sure of what he is doing.  But in the end, he lost it n beat up my good friend over their breakups.  This girl, Hui Hui, suffered bad injuries (bruises aka Orr Chair) to her arms, neck n some unfortunate punches on her face. Leo loves her very much n beg her to stay, but she died died want to leave.  I believed she told him right in the face they could not be together anymore, no more love between them le...Then they scolded each other with some offending words, then he beat beat beat...Poor Leo...He must start to understand this is a part n puzzle of life.  On Hui Hui which is my good friend, Multi Media Msged me at 2am in the morning when I was just about to return from Kuala Lumpur which shows her arms black black with obvious bruises n saying " Leo beats me again".  I feel very sad lah seeing her get injured. Leo must have grabbed her too tight n beat her over the argument.  She claimed that Leo had been stalking her to patch back.  Hui Hui got many suitors, last time I heard is around ten at the same time, some r very rich guys, one Japanese meal $300 per person.  I think i rather bet $300 on Japan win over Brazil.  $1: $1.90 eats balls (+1.5).  I used to like her alot n i can forsake all my appointments just to go out with her.  In the end, she went steady with another friend, Shawn but they also never last good.  Shawn turns crazy n shouted her names underneath her block.  Police have to come also.  Shawn also ask his friend to pretend to be looking for her to do commercial just to see her again asking for patch.  She is too hot lah, burns people easily one.  She is a star in the making, a real potential to make it big in the future.  She is the picture girl for StarHub, slimming products n alot more, ex-actress from J-team n everyone likes her..She is cute, bubbly, fun, silly (ha ha) but just rather indecisive.  I simply love her!  No one is perfect, trust me, so we must really learn to forgive n forget.  This blog entry is definitely not to say any bad about anyone, because to tell u the truth, Leo is also my friend.  He supported n voted many times for me in "Never Say Die".  I must really say Thank You!  Leo, stop thinking about her anymore, you r just another Shawn.  Dun get yourself in unnecessary trouble anymore.  Legal ants r crawling up your neck soon.  N Hui Hui you, r definitely my good good friend..Thanks for treating me good for the past year..Friends forever...! =)  Below r some of the pics collection Hui Hui mms to me before.








17th June 2006 0100hrs: "Thank you for your support"




Hey, People!  I m back again.  Spend almost three months preparing for the competition that had just ended. I have a lot of things to pour out but they just stick there at my throat n dunno where to start.  TV exposure is definitely the quickest way to get recognized on the street. Thirteen episodes of me taking part in the contest makes me really grateful, alot people r watching you.   A completed production which i can even talk about it when I will b old n walking a stick down the road.  I was in it, I will tell my grandchildren!  But i was not really satisfied, i was traumatized rather by the result judges have given me.  16.5/30 !?!?  After maintaining an average weekly 2nd place voting result,  this is really a big blow to me!  I let down those who spend lots of money supporting me all the way from the start, my father, mother, friends, relatives, my supporters n even strangers. An average of 5.5 points upon 10 among the three judges?!  I felt like taking a knife n stab right to my heart when see the points, or just run straight to the wall n bang it.  But i cannot do so, I respect the judges, my seniors who had been in the line for very long. My acting teacher say that he is surprisingly satisfied with my group performance during one of  the rehearsal, n my singing teacher says i act even better in the final.  I was just shocked y the marks can gone that bad.  All i mean is I may not perform the best in the final, but i felt that marks r way too low.  I felt so useless n helpless, n i cannot do any thing to salvage the situation, all my voting totals also could not help.  My fate was not in my hand.  God dun like me.  Being a nice guy n maintaining my politeness does not help from the start.  When people (better dun mention names), realizing you dun fight back or diam diam(remain quiet), they ride over you, n place a few knifes at your back when your heads r turned or just simply shoot u right at the face.  Badmouthing me from contestants, to producers, superstars right up to teacher to "he" hinting blogs when No. 1 can be my witness till I become an outcast by everyone.  Really sianz sia.. I think in their mind they may think," Steven big sized but no brains one.  An instant pushover".   Politics happen everywhere, offices, schools or in competitions where everyone wants a piece of that top three.  I m a good example of a politics victim.  But, i m very envious n happy for the final top three.  Congrats!  Something to say to the team, I may appear to be a loner, but actually I need plenty of love & attention from anyone of you.  The best part is, I m harmless.  N to Yu Chang,  if there is a chance to give roses again n we never met in this competition, I seriously think i may give one stalk to you.  Something I admire about you.  You r pretty sometimes, you r smart, eloquent n best of all, you r very very professional.  How?  the porridge sweet or not? LOL!  If  you ask me why i take the porridge for you, is becos I sincerely want to be your friend! n Dun be sad by the defeat....  =)  N really thank all who had supported me thru out the competition.  P.S. Going on a short trip to Kuala Lumpur (17th & 18th June)n watch Lee Hom performs, invitation by a businessman called Steven Tan which I never met before.  He told me Jaclyn Tay n a few Singapore celebrities might be going with the group. 



P.S.  I m back from the convention at the stadium with lots of fireworks around 43 thousands crowds.  Lee Hom performed for 45 mins.  Malaysian Idol Daniel Lee n Jaclyn Victor were there too!  Makes a lot of nice friends!  I simply love Kuala Lumpur...I feel like going there again.  Anyone wants to go with me can sms me at 93857300.



Below is  short 3gp format video clip of lee hom singing to the big crowd!  open with quick time version 6 n above or simply transfer to your handphone n see by right quick save as.



Lee Hom short clip






15th May 2006 0102hrs: "Motorcycle accident"




Friday 28th April 2006, an unfortunate thing happened to me n my friend.  I was fetching my friend on my motorbike in tunnel highway CTE.  The roads before the tunnel was slippery as it was after rain n the journey seems never ending.  I had sixth sense i will encounter an accident as the destination seems to get further n further.  I was preparing my exit to the left travelling at 80km/hr.  A black Honda motorcar suddenly tail gated us, i was seeing my side mirror, the car reflection gets bigger n bigger...Hell no....!   The next instant,  Kaboom, our bike we magically lifted n we both flew like super men, n we crashed n skidded.  The worst part the floor was not slippery!!!!!  It is totally dry which will cause more frictional injury to skins.  My bike was wrenched n my left arm n my whole left leg suffered big patches of bloody abrasions as I was wearing shorts n i think it hit my bone too. The skid even burned through a big hole on my favorite black jacket!  Imaging if I did not wear jacket! The skin from my right palm  totally came off n my flesh was popping hello to me, n the blood gushing out.   My friend left arm was rubbed bloody n a small chip off from his shoulder  I was very mad n I seriously do not care about any image,  I shouted to the young driver," Do you know how to drive?!  Wat happen!?"  He was apologetic n helpless n he fetched us to the hospital.  Trust me, I was even more helpless n frustrated!  He paid me SIN$600 as compensation n my medical bills of $60.  End up, my bike repair is $400! n I could not work for a good two weeks.  This was my third accidents within two months n  I have been riding bike with almost zero accidents since september 2002.  Can anyone explain the mystery?? 2/3 of the accidents were definitely caused by others.  Once is a crazy unsatisfied taxi customer suddenly opened the rear door at the extreme right lane n my bike kiss it.  My right forearm got a permanent 2cm cut scar.  The other one is I just do a quick stopping on the left to ask for directions n those rocky pebbles from the mines flipped my bike.  Two dark spots on my right kneecap after it torn my jeans!  Fortunately, things r recovering now.  Bikers!  Please remember to inform pillion riders or loved ones to wear jackets n jeans n a good pair of shoes everytime you r on it.  (My shoes was ripped open.  I cannot believe also)  Recovering from an accident is tedious, disgusting n painful!  At least, try to save your skin....!  One of my friends says men look sexy with some scars.  If it is true, I m real sexy now...







24th March 2006 0109hrs: Yippee! My last day for reservist!



I was totally wrong.  I tot reservist is as bad n shagged as my NSF time.  The high ranks actually understands age is catching up on us, being our eighth in camp training.  We have lots of nights off, training is flexible and safety conscious.  Many of us are married n have kids, except me.  I think the most tiring program is the IPPT physical test n Battalion Mission exercise.  I missed the BME because i was involved in a motorcycle accident.  Sigh..  The rest r really fun.  We have live firing, outward bound training, crawling thru obstacles, so fun!  The worst part of IPPT is that I ran the 2.4km route almost twice.  One marshal leads two of us to the wrong route, leading us to fail the first time.  I insist on running the 2.4km again after half and hour of rest and fortunately, i passed the test n got S$100!  Lousy yes but good enough to get money.  Hee..  You know what!  I made lots of new friends there, and they showered me with lots of attention n concern.  touched..  All of them keep asking me to sing n perform for them.. =)  My last in camp training is Oct 2004 n really nothing special.  This time, i feel very awkward.  People took up camera phones to video shoot me now n then, n the sergeants loves to arrow me to do things.  The worst part is when I m bathing, there is no curtain!  They actually video secretly took me bathing n openly when i m changing my clothes.  This is so crazy!  They still continue to shoot after I gently told them repeatedly dun shoot any more.  They say this video will be valuable n can made into VCDs.  Wah lau!  Please kindly do not spread the video.  I seriously do not wish to see this kind of videos in the market.  I still want my reputation one lor.  I mean, the whole room is full of guys.  Some of them sleep with only their undergarments.  Even if i walk around with only a towel or walked empty to the bathroom is perfectly fine.  We all stripped in the same room.  But why shoot me undressing only n not others?  This is one bad point when most people know that you are an entertainer or rather, joker.  You have to keep smiling n endure their antics.  I really dun mind n i heck care n i love them, but just do not spread the videos.  Please.......Got to go n bathe, then rush back to camp.  Book in at 8am but i rather sleep there.





12th March 2006 0127hrs: I m scared of Reservist!



As promised or as scheduled, I will be doing my national service infantry reservist from 13th March to 24th March.  Tomorrow at 730am must report!  Can someone just shoot me? Seriously, no one who have a job outside will enjoy army.  If you really enjoy army so much, join it! Our beloved country needs people like u!  I m already near thirty but the training is still so stringent n tough.  You will surely get scarred by bashing thru the forest, falling down, by thousands of mosquitoes  you can never imagine.  You lay on dirty mud, sleep in it, n you pee n shit in jungle.  Sometimes u step on it.  Arrrgghhhhhh...............!  I m so scared.. Sand flies can also instantly disfigure a person face n body. Life outside must be too comfortable for me.  I have a female friend's brother who just about to entered army last Friday.  He cried over the telephone.  I strongly support him to do so, because there are a lot more of crying later on.  Singapore is definitely very serious about his national security matters.  Our army, I can boldly say, is definitely one of the best trained in the world.  If a country who intends to invade our small Singapore, She is making a very big mistake, cos our air force also tops South East Asia.  I love Singapore.  I do not want it to be taken away by force, I love beautiful Orchard Road, n I do not want our women to be raped n men being treated as slaves.  That is why we have national service.  Tough, tiring but in the long run, very beneficial for the whole nation.  But I hate it when my army friends laughed at me when I put a plastic sheet in my underwear at my butt.  I want my butt to be free from the terrible feeling of being drenched.  Those who have been to army, trust me, it works!  I have brought along my health supplements, Vit C, E, A and sheep placenta.  I must not die there....  So people, wish me luck! Gonna finish my exercise, bathe then sleep.  (Waking up at 530am?!)  There is a very important competition for me on 25th March right after reservist, really hope I will still look good n fresh for tv shoots.  Bye!






28th February 2006 0127hrs: NYP sex scandals - another case after lecturer Susan Chua's?



I was a very proud marketing graduate from NYP n still is.  But, I was deeply shocked by the recent wave reports of a girl which the newspaper called her "Tammy", a NYP student whose self taped sex video was being emailed to lecturers n friends after her hand phone was stolen.  I have really no issue for open-minded couples to take intimate pictures or videos to keep for remembrance or for self viewing.  This is perfectly legal n do not harm anyone.  Take for example, in the case of Titantic, Jack painted a nude pic for Rose.  Most of you have watched it.  Did anyone screamed," Bloodly hell, it is disgusting n immoral!"  All i remember, the show was romantic n to die for.  There is this scene in "Pearl Harbour" whereby the pilot was doing this girl while hiding behind a curtain.  Strangely, the movie was a box office.  Please, my fellow Singaporeans, this is already the 15th Century!  My point is Tammy was definitely a victim, and definitely an unwillingly superstar by now.  Her handphone was stolen n her contents was checked n the video was mass sent.  This culprit is the real person who needs to be condemned.  Trust me, IP can be easily traced n i think the culprit is a dead meat now.  I can totally understand how Tammy feels.  Imagine going thru all the tough positions just to keep a memory, then suddenly become a media object overnight.  From the newspaper, her boyfriend who was in the video was very angry that his 10 mins of steamy bed scene was spread around Singapore n even to Malaysia, was even burnt into DVDs for sale.  Did somebody in the forums mentioned that he is big?  Er...  This is crazy n really inhumane!  Tammy had to go back to school to being laughed at.  Tammy is a very very pretty girl, who is active in cheerleading.  This is not the first time NYP has this kind of scandal.  A few years ago, a NYP lecturer n also my lecturer, Ms. Susan Chua was involved in a really unbelievable sex scandal with one of her students.  The student maligned her that Ms. Chua took a liking on him, took him out for car rides, doing those kind of things in various places in campus, but end up she ditched him after her husband found out about the matter.  Eventually, to end the whole thing, she even report to the police he was harassing her.  I still strongly believe it was untrue but the story was all over the internet.  How dare the student tries to say bad things about my Snow White!? As one of the students in one of her lectures, I was extremely curious about the trustworthiness of the story.  But, believe it or not, she was definitely one of my favorite teacher in school.  I used to have a crush on her.  She got class, eloquent, expressive n she hates Pamolive smell.  She said she smell the soap, she will faint.  Ha ha...she was cute!  I got some of my presentation tactics from her to be exact.  But, there is one thing that disappointed me was, i met her outside CK Tangs a few years back n I said hi to her very friendlily n told her I was her student.  She told me she did not know me n gave me a tell me to "F off" look.  My heart sunk to the bottom.  She used to be my idol.  Sad..... But till now, my favorite teachers r still Mr. Chan Teck Chwee n Ms Elinda Gan from SBM.  They are really nice n I tweaked Mr. Chan's eyebrows once!  Hee...  He is still very handsome n Ms. Gan as pretty as ever.  Btw, is Ms. Gan married? *wink wink*




18th February 2006 0010hrs: Worst Times of my Life - Trying to keep myself alive    Real story told by Melvin



The last entry I mentioned about my Kuala Lumpur Trip n I ended my relationship with my best friend.  Sad.. I was very disappointed this is what I got for treating him like my brother.  I have seriously zero close friends left....  ZERO!!!!  Really shitty life I got...  Today I SMSed him he should not be so petty but he told me to forget it, he befriended me for these few years because he finds me pitiful as I m a laughing stock of Singapore. Wat the..... Ouch!!!  I m definitely a loser in life.  I lost to my self completely.  Trust me.  That is not all.....  I broke up with my close stead three days before Valentines.  She dumped me after I told her I no longer have feelings for her.  I did not actually mean it.  All I want from her is to spend more time with to let me feel loved. Yes, although I do not really love her alot, after one year eight months of relationship, I already have strong feelings of attachment/ bond with her.  I could not concentrate on my work these few days, feeling a piece of my meat had been ripped off suddenly.  I cried in Valentines when I see couple treating each other sweetly with roses floating around me.  I have been a total MCP for the relationship, I always want to be in control n things in my way, so i will feel more secured.  I really cannot stand for even a second with a girl that do not follow my likings n who are argumental.  This girl really do not mind me being a MCP, we r Yin n Yang.  Actually,  I m very very fortunate to have her, that is why we can still last for so long. No other women can tolerate my nonsense, n being a girl friend of a laughing stock of Singapore.  Scold me if you want.  Ya, I m a jerk cum loser.  I lost everything! I lost my best friend n my stead together whom I shared my deepest secret n my dirtiest joke.  I m so freaking lonely right now..................... =( I wanted to die..There is no meaning in my LIFE ANYMORE!  You think it ends here.....No.....There is more!  I put it very brief.  I have been conned by a conman who made use of my desire to become famous, signed a void 100k sponsorship singing contract with me n make me incurred an expenses up to SIN$2000.  He cheated his ex business partner $3000 n refused to appear in court for the civil suit as he hided himself in China.  End up the partner incurred even more loss for court fees etc!  He purposely do not want to pay for the lawyer fee for the divorce case with his wife, ending up the wife cannot get the divorce certificate.  Bastard!  He was even being booted out of the rented office cum house for not paying the rent in China!  I witnessed it n it was damn embarrassing.  He got money from foreigners outside China to purchase goods but end up never sent the goods!  Yesterday, I opened my mobile phone bill.  SIN$621!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I almost fainted! Mostly incurred from my trip to China n he did used my phone!!  All this I will not incurred if he is not a fake!  There will no trainings be it vocal or dancing arranged for me at all!  Trust me, he just made use of me as a joker in China. Please let me scold some vulgar words......  Cedric Soh Kim Kiang of Eliais World, @#$^%&^*&(*(*(*)(*&)*)*)*   RETURN ME MY MONEY!!!!! You can try to sue me for defamation, I got all the alibis with me to prove to people you are a cheat.  You can try, as my father got lots of money.  People do beware, he uses the loopholes of contracts n individual's weaknesses to con people.  Then, he will tell you how rich he is.  I have reported the case to the police.  Police are watching you, I will try my best to get back my money.  People......  I cannot be even more unlucky than now.... Seriously, i could not take it anymore....I m breaking down...  ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!  SHIT!  N MY 12 days infantry reservist is coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH..Below is his pic, please warn people about him.  I can swear I m not lying, n he is very active in China n Singapore..hides in China n always changed his mobile number, n most of his things including cars are rented to con girls n businessmen.  Any other people who had been conned by him pls do stand up n contact me.  We can do it!









Cedric Soh Kim Kiang from Eliais World- Conman in hiding



My bills! I m fainting.





5th February 2006 2237hrs: Just came back from Kuala Lumpur.  Dump my best friend, Met my ex!



How should I sum up last week? Full of adventures, mood swing here n there.  Mood switches so fast, from being excited, anticipated, enjoyment, wowing, betrayed, anger, sadness.  Story begins here.  My ex best friend took his leave this week n he suggested we go for a holiday.  We took a coach on Saturday morning to Kuala Lumpur.  We shopped at Sungai Wang Plaza.  He cut his hair, I bought vcds!  Finally found the movie titles I wanted right here in Malaysia!  We have dinner, everything was ok then.  We laughed n talked cock with each other.  Just to highlight, this best friend of mine I used to treat him so well like my brother that i can even dun meet my girlfriend or any dates just to meet up with him. I will subsidize him movie ticket price, treat him drinks, beer, food.  I can say that I really treat him truly with my heart.  He never for once treat me anything, not that i can remember of, n we seem to enjoy each other company for the past two years where we always meet up for movies n stuff.  For these two days trip, he absolutely did not bring anything!  I brought my stuff, toothbrush, facial foam, wax, extra clothings, shaver etc.  He borrowed from me bathing n shampoo lotion n i gladly lend him without any complaints.  During the night at the hotel, we still have some brotherly fun, laughing n still talking cock n some guys talk.  Individually, we have some Extra Curricular Activity by our own which I will keep it a secret.  Ha ha, but that was really good i must say. This early morning things happen.  I bathed n went to shaved my beard with my shaver.  He requested to borrow my shaver.  Initially, I turned him down saying shaver cannot be shared as AIDS, hyp B, STD could passed thru this way if anyone of us bleed.  Everyone knows that!  But after some consideration, I offered to sell the shaver to him at $1 sing dollar, cos I will not dare to use the shaver anymore if he uses it for hygiene purposes, so may as well totally transfer ownership.  He rejected n I counter offered 50 cts, n he got pissed that I wanted to sell him the shaver, hidden meaning saying I m money minded.  He kept mentioning that i will regret it.  He got mad n left the room saying we will go home at separate ways.  But wat the heck!  This is so so petty in my opinion.  Wat a sissy! He never think he is always the one who asked something in return when i asked him to accompany me to see movie.  Like free tickets, free drinks or food etc.  I still remember i treated him beer on his birthday.  At that point of time, I only feel that I was totally betrayed by him.  I took my time off just to accompany him to places n enjoy some brotherly time.  Go there together, come back should be together!  Wat kind of attitude is that?!  He never appreciate my goodwill at all!  Damn pissed n betrayed.  I just closed the freaking opened door n continue charging my handphone, waiting for the check out time.  But afterwards, I really do enjoy some peaceful time doing shopping n eating lunch alone before I came back to Singapore by coach.  But something magical happen, thanks to the unfortunate things, I m quite sure I saw my ex-girlfriend again whom I loved so so much two years ago.  I entered the MRTrain at woodland n i tot i saw her.  I switched places to the opposite to confirm if i m crazy, but i m still not sure.  She talked to her friend.  Her voice still the same, chin still slightly longer, she changed to a decent executive spec, n she kept avoiding eyes contact with me. My my, she had grown so matured now n she is still beautiful.  In my mind,  I used to love her so so much till i will even withered for her..My stop is reaching n I waved to her," Do you know Catherine?"  She shook her head.  I pretended to pick up my phone," Hello..... Hui Ni (her name)??? Wrong number, dun have this person.." to check her response.  I knew it was her, just that she dun admit it!  I got down at my stop. Times rocketed away, some memories still stay.  Almost at once all the feeling came back, I started to love her over n over again......Sigh...  I m sad.  My own regret is that I could not hug her tightly at the very last moment two years back n tell her how much I love is our pic more than two years back... 






  Click thumbnail to enlarge pic. No more Steven/Catherine Fairytale..The End.












Jalan Bukit Bintan, Kuala Lumpur's heart, must go place!  It is beautiful!







28 January 2006 0612hrs: My Guangzhou's Singer Training Trip


Just came back from China Guangzhou a few days ago, just came out from an early morning shower.  It was an extraordinary experience for me, not only for a supposedly all expenses covered learning trip, it was also my first time taking a commercial plane for tour n checking out from the custom.  I felt excited.  It was a decade ago when I took a commercial plane to Taiwan, Thailand n Brunei for National Service Infantry training.  All I know the feeling was great!  Jet Star Asia budget Air was excellent!  Unbelievable but true!  The plane looks new and the service was excellent, n the girls will not lose out to Singapore Airline Stewardess.  N for a ten dollar more, u get a sumptuous meal n a drink.  A few unhappy incidents arose in China.  Contract says I will not be paid salaries for three months training, but I was promised air ticket, food, lodging n transportation in overseas trip.  My boss, Mr. Cedric Soh, told me no need bring money.  Firstly I was unhappy I have to pay for the SIN$600 in advance for the company for the contract signing ceremony held on 4th January at Kbox function room which my direct boss was actually the one who thought of holding the event in that particular room.  He threw all expenses n booking on me at the very last min after I told him I already invited the media.  He promised to pay me the following day with his friend n my brother as witnesses but on the next day, he said I could only claim it back on 15th Feb according to the contract.  Wat the?!   Secondly, after signing the contract, I realized that my boss uses the name of the other Singapore Registered company owned by his friend n tagged himself as its admin manager to sign the contract with me.  I verified with his friend whether my boss is really his company's admin manager, n he says no n I recorded his statements.  Without his friend's knowledge, my boss even mentioned about my salary n decided on his friend's company profit sharing ratio with me.  The company does not belongs to him!  I was shocked.  Thirdly, during one dim sum breakfast with my boss, he intentionally left the table n ask me to foot the bill first.  This is not the first time.  Before signing the contract in Singapore, my boss n his friend intentionally dashed out of the taxi n left me to pay the taxi fare twice using the same method, n I swore that I see them hee hee hee at the corner.  A big boss resorted to this kind of tactics?!  Disappointing, man!  Fourthly, during the whole trip, I felt that I was not treated right.  He asks me to carry his bag n his travel luggage most of the time which he claims that it was to train my tolerance.  He threw peanuts n toothpicks at my face.  He also attempted to slam a swinging glass aluminum door at me by purposely swinging it back really hard.  Fortunately, I managed to block it with my legs.  (There was even a sign saying beware of swinging door!)  Wat was he thinking?  He was remarked by his friend on the spot.  For some particular reason, I reserve my rights to report the case to the police.  Fifthly, maybe due to some cork up or last min thingy, the boss left me all alone in Macau where he flew to Thailand, where no arrangements had been made for me yet.  I was literally stranded with my luggage.  He expected me to sleep in Macau International airport for the night where either he will try to solve my accommodation in Macau or help me book an air ticket to Kuala Lumpur then take a coach back to Singapore.   I felt that I was being mistreated n have a row with him over the phone, n I told him I m going to take the 245am flight to Kuala Lumpur n he says it was ok.  An additional SIN$400 including the coach/ taxi back to Singapore which my boss have not reimbursed me yet.  Total= more than SIN$1000 have not claimed back.  The question is if my boss asked me to pay for expenses for eg. $10,000 in advance n can only claim back on the 15th next month, do I have to do so as well???  Will you do so?  The issue is my boss suppose to sponsor $100,000 for me to cut music album, n he could not even help me promptly reimburse this kind of company related expenses.  How could I trust him to sponsor me the album?  Now my future is once again dark n uncertain.  Damn it! But I felt that my boss only did one thing that is pretty convincing.  I recorded two songs in a recording studio n he paid for the master CD n the cover design.  I really do not know what is in his mind.   God/ Alamak, please guide me!  If he is really sincere n show me that he could fork out the money for me to cut the album, I can treat it as nothing happen.  Anyone who have any good advises for me pls email me.  I m emailing this blog entry to Mr. Cedric Soh for his reference/ feedback as I believe in justice.






12 January 2006 0909hrs: Suddenly, I feel so alone.  Realize that my first true relationship was 6 years ago in 1999, imagine if I have 100 years of life, I already spent 29 years on it.  Oh no, I m going to die soon.  Wat if I have 50 years of life only? 21 more years??!!!!  I m really going to die le.  I never keep in contact with my exs.  It is hard, as we have passion for each other before, very awkward, u know what I mean.  My 26 years old brother got his beloved daughter already.  Very jealous u know!  Sometimes, I really hope that I can have my own baby girl.  But the first two months r tough, the baby is fragile n keep crying... Very sianz (bored) one... Pee cry, want milk cry, nobody hug cry.  Now, the baby dun cry that much just go ga ga woo woo ah ah...Hugging is really nice, it removes ur stress n anxiety.  If you have nobody to hug, u may consider hugging a tree, a teddy bear or even toilet bowl.  Seriously, if you dun have an outlet for your passion, u get moody very easily one.  Read "The Ghost of Christmas"  Ebenezer Scrooge finally found the true meaning of Christmas.  I m going to China soon.  My boss said got training for me, but dunno wat kind of training leh.  God bless!




15 October 2005 0328hrs - I tot I was tough, my new CASIO Keyboard is tougher!





I bet most of you dunno I could compose songs n fills in the lyrics.  I m not especially talented, but I compose/wrote my own originals when I was in secondary two.  I dunno any musical instructments beside playing drums in primary school.  I dunno how to read the one lines one lines music thing with bean sprouts in between then.  Instead, I hummed out my songs when I was bathing, doing big/small business or when reading a magazine.  I love nature, living things, birds, fishes.  I see a tiger bite out the head of a kangeroo.  I see a python which tries to swallow up a alligator.  Phython's stomach exploded with the lower part of the dead alligator sticking out from its exploded stomach.  This is called," I die, you die too!"    Nature gives me lots of music inspirations/ ideas.  I hate wars, destruction because I m a peace loving guy.  Some people then called me the "pissed guy" which I dunno why.  But, it sounds cool being pissed.  Isn't it? Ha ha...   One week ago, I bought a very interesting CASIO keyboard which was very new to me.  It was fun....You can choose to use different instructments, tempo, songs.  Learning is tough, self-taught learning is even tougher.  I m my own teacher...Then I started to learn how to read the music score, like where is do re mi, ti la so...I utilize it to do song accompanies.  It was fun!  I finally know how to put a tone/note to my past song composition.  The next day,  I finally know how to play any song n sing, basically thru lots of trial & errors.  It was really exciting, as I can almost play n sing any song now in the most CMI (cannot make it) way.  Learning when/ where to press a key is also a chore.  But I guess I will get better, n hopefully one day I can perform on Stage to all of you.  Now, I wanna concentrate on playing the keyboard more efficiently, also finding a good lady who appreciate my determination, n marry her.  (I m already 29!!!!!  My 26 yrs old brother already wedded n got a baby le.  What the heck!)






You are absolutely normal <===  Real funny!  I laugh till I suffocated.



Doctor, the embarrassed man said, 'I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore.' 'Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do.' So, the worried fellow returned with his wife the following pad. The doctor greeted the coupled and then said, 'Please remove your clothes, Mrs. Thomas.' The woman obliged and removed her clothing. 'Okay, now turn all the way around... Now, lie down please... Uh-huh, I see. Alright, you can put your clothes back on.' While the woman was busy dressing herself again, the doctor took the husband aside. 'You're in perfect health,' he said to the man. 'Your wife didn't give me an erection either.'




Footnote by Steven Lim: I find the joke is funny so i post it here, not because I m horny or what.  I dun wanna spoil my image.  On a serious tone, I read from source that if the above situation happens, the wife is in a really big trouble.  Her husband may go astrayed to satisfy his sexual fantasies.  Hmm...Advise is to change clothings n style frequently to excite the husband, as Men have 20 times more raging hormones than the female.





19 September 2005 0248hrs - My brother gave birth to a baby girl!!!



Congratulation!!!!  My younger brother n his wife delivered a baby girl 3 days ago.  My brother is skinny but the baby looks big n heavy!  I was shocked when I look at my niece.  She looks darn like my brother.  Small head with smaller eyes. pretty little girl.. N she is moving and crying all day long..... Y Y Y????  Y she is so cute? Does all babies cry so much???  I cannot imagine me myself a baby growing into a gorilla. My sister-in-law is really poor thing...haf to endure labour pain for 9 months n the final push, wow, wat a feat!!!  Must be freaking painful,  the baby so big!!!  Really can be done?!  I m already 29 n I m still not yet married, not to say having a kid...  Sigh, when will i have cute little Steven??  On the other hand, I also dun want my future wife to suffer labour pain...  I may decide not to have kids because of that u know?  But dun be influenced by me, make more monies n have more babies.  Government wants more babies...Give them babies, n they will be happy!  Bottom-line, if you can afford it, manufacture more cuties.  Singapore needs plenty of youngsters to catch up with the aging population. Babies gave us hopes, bring us smiles, and continue the blood of Lim's...  My father n mother are extremely happy to be Grands...  They always like to be part of the baby-hugging game.  I have not haf my hands on her yet...Maybe one month later, when her bones are stronger, n I will not feel that I am holding on to a pool of jellies...You know what, they called me Da Beh!!!!!! <=== Big uncle!! wow, i must be getting old already.....Seeing a new life is created, really reminds me of my exs...  They used to be babies too n they grow up, become mature young adults n love/hatred relationships are created.  Not that we want that, sometimes things dun happily ever after our way.  Sigh.... Then you tell me ok?  Create a new life to explore a whole life to experiences, death, part ways, sickness, troubles, love, hatred...  Good or bad, u tell me?  Babies, babies, listen to Uncle Lim, so drink more milk ok??  To have the strength to walk thru a life of wonders n miseries.  Walk thru them with Mr. Steven Lim......



Quote of the day by Steven Lim: "Dengue Fever on a rise in Singapore, dun count how many mosquitoes you kill.  Just kill!  A dead mosquito can't haf babies.  Steven Lim loathes mosquitoes!!!"






12 September 2005 1211hrs - Sorry, Guys!  Dengue Fever forces me 2 stop writing past few days.  But I'm back!



Exactly, this time last Monday, something big happened.  I knew I was going to be sick but dunno how serious it would be.  No Panadols in house is a bad sign.  It grew worse the following day.  My whole body ached, especially the kidney area.  Any movement from any parts of body/joints were particularly painful.  I was shocked when I found I walked like a 80 years old sick man n I felt so bad.  I knew I got a fever but dunno how much.  Listen, people, that point of time  till I decided to see a doctor on Tuesday, I was very very sick.  Tuesday blood test result  shows10,000 blood platelets too low but still no signs of Dengue but i have high fever of 39.4ºC!  Rest at home, still never recovered.  On Thursday morning,  I went for another blood test!   I dropped from Tuesday's 130,000 blood platelets to 81,000 platelets only. Dengue Fever confirmed!!!   If your platelets drops too low, a person will die easily. I wanted to rest at home, but my worry-sicked father forced me to a hospital.  Firstly, I want to say that the doctors, nurses and staff are all friendly people.  But, staying in hospital is terrible!!!!  Standard one to a room with toilet, with a water drip that follows u whatever you do, eat or shit, trapped in a bed facing four walls..Everyday, must poke needle to draw blood..  Trust me, it is like jail. (you r not allowed to leave the room!)  Fortunately for me, my temp went normal 36.9ºC for the next two days (Friday, Saturday) n my platelets rose back (Sunday).  Phew!  I was finally freed..The whole process is a big suffering.. Dear People!  Imagine, a person of this size also kena beaten by a mosquitoe... We have to think of our elderly father n mother as well...  Any mistakes may cause their lives too!  Pls, pls, Join me in fighting this never-ending war against insects!  Follow these instructions carefully if you really want to help.






1. Kill the enemies immediately at sight! Spray, slap, crash, kick all mosquitoes!  Dun give them any chance to lay eggs! (Government should exercise a mandatory nationwide program whereby each Singaporean must kill a mosquito each week n submit dead bodies together as a household in a plastic bag.  Sure Works as the mosquitoes r going extinct very soon!  Imagine: 3 million fewer mosquitoes every week!  Singapore will be safe!)



2.Check n removes all still/ dirty/ stale water!   Dun let them lay eggs near your house!



3. The best solution is do what I do.  Immediate after discharge from hospital, I printed out A4 sized notices warning my neighbors I had contacted Dengue n to be on high alert for a dengue attacks by Aedes Mosquitoes around the area, with symptoms and advises of prevention/killing, n pasted them at the lift, and the four sub exits at the block.  I am the best life example of a victim of Dengue n I believe any victims of Dengue can too stand out to give a hand n play their part in this war!  Let them know they are not that safe afterall.







29 August 2005 0338hrs - Advance Happy Birthday, Steven Lim!



I dunno why I haf the habit of blogging late at night.. Must be becos of the atmosphere and the ambience... I feel alone, have settled all my other stuffs, feeling wise n brilliant at this moment.. This is when all the loneliness and creativity crept up upon me.  Yup, one more day to my birthday! (on the 30th Aug)  Last year, my supporters gave me some nice presents like bears wif some spastic look ( I see the face, I also turn blur), with patches all over body, n lots of cards!  Hee...Anymore presents for me this year?? Ha ha.. Normally, I will give myself a big treat on this occasion.  A good dinner, chill out for a while n buy myself a piece of cake or something. Some decades back, a cute little baby was born in Mount Alvernia hospital. " Wah, wah! Mummy, mummy, i want milk, give me plenty of milk on my birthday!",  I whined...This baby grew up to be someone that have deep passion for performing Arts.  I used to do some drunken kung fu stunt in front of my parents in happier times, making them laugh so much..Ha ha.. They are not close now... Just two strangers living under one roof.  This isn't that bad... They meant not to be together, just one step of not signing the divorce papers...They are two different aliens from two different planets.  I remembered once in Chinese New Year when I was really young, we went out happily together as a family, along with my younger brother.  Everything was ok till we reached home.  They quarreled again, and I was sitting right in the middle.  I dun want them to quarrel, so I made funny faces, n say some funny jokes to calm the intense atmosphere.  It worked for a while, but they continued quarreling.  I felt so useless.  Quarreling is no good, it affects relationships.  In the end, it affects me deep deep.  I was a very hyperactive kid then.  When they quarreled, my mum period, n beats me for any sorts of things or no reasons.  I jumped abit, Beat!  I talked back abit, Beat!  I ran away from beating, Beat Beat Beat!  Hello! Feather duster cane you know?  One line, one line on my legs n back.  I was so well trained from getting beaten up, that I dun even feel the pain anymore..  Sigh.....  Thru all the beatings, I suffered from very low self-esteem n was highly rebellious.  That was really at least a decade ago... Dun talk about it anymore, ok?  Happy 29th Birthday to myself, Steven Lim! =D 





21 August 2005 0511hrs - Steven Lim is happy! 3 Great performances in two days!



It's 5am in the morning... I m tired yet feel so exhilarated.  It must have been the 3 big performances I had been invited to.  Big, big names; Chill up places.  (19 Aug 2005) 1. Mark Chow Model's search grand final held at Club DXO - for a special guest performance.  The feeling was so great!  I entered the stage with enthusiastic audience clapping my entrance and ended it wif them asking for an encore at 11.15pm. 2. The crazy part is that I have another invitation as a lead star dancer at Double O dance club at 11.30pm.  People wun know that I was sweating profusely from DXO to Dbl-O. The seat on my bike was flooded wif my sexy sweat n along the journey, I kept wiping myself dry.  I had to b fast or the show cant start.  The lady boss was waiting, n all the patrons were anticipating a gd Tarzan cum hot bikini fashion show from Butt cheeks, n not forgetting the fire-eaters.  Guess wat, I m Tarzan!  N all the bikini girls r so hot!  One glance at them, ur nose bleeds.  The second glance, u go blind.  No third glance, sorry, u r blinded, remember? Hee...  Hot babes surrounded me n I challenged the fire eaters.  The temperature broke the thermometer n everyone was high.  N the finale ended wif me on the podium chest-beating n the fire eaters breathing fire!  All went wild n they clapped for us...  It was awesome!  U shud see me then, where I was grinning from ear to ear.  = D (20 Aug 2005) 3. The very next day, I did a professional show for a gal on her 21st birthday party.  Her parents were very totful to give her a big surprise.  I personally handed her a birthday card, sang a birthday song, did a Singapore idol stripping "She Bangs" to a modest running shorts n finally a super hot dance which was so memorable I speculate she wun forget for a long long time.  The organizers were very pleased as the audience had a pleasant surprise tat it was arranged by her parents; symbolizing their love/ trust/ abit more freedom 4 the grown up gal...  Something to mention is tat the landed house was so big n nice wif a swimming pool tat comes along n so many cars!  There was even a cooking place at the garden!   .......... (Steven Lim speechless)  To conclude, I m very thankful tat there r still people who appreciate my talent n my frankness. Thank u M.C. Models, Original Media, Butt Cheeks, Club DXO n last but not least Dbl-O dance club for all the support n opportunities!   











   performances at Dbl-O as Tarzan









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16 August 2005 0442hrs - Catherine Chan, you are still the one I love most in this life....



Dear readers, this blog is specially dedicated to Miss Catherine Chan Wei Yee.  You may ask,"Who the heck is this monkey?"  Dun insult her... because this is the girl that I once really love so much till the point of no return...I cried for her, heart pain and had done many sweet little things for her.  This NUS undergraduate made me wanted to see her every single day.  N she is my 3rd ex-girlfriend.  Beginning to end barely lasted for 4 months.  We met in Mirc in Jan 2003..She used the nick of Starfairy, n me, Sghunk..We chatted craps n the following next day, we met at city hall mrt station.  I was late n she mistook another idiot as me n she was planning for an "escape" route...fate created miracle, I caught her just before she turned in to the toilet as I recognized her face from the pic.  Thanks God for sending me an angel...  She was so beautiful, slim, tall, and very power...We almost liked each other immediately n passion ran high in Suntec City.  We kissed n played at the fire escape staircase n we unofficially got ourselves a lover on 25th Jan 2003... I bought two hand phones for her, bought her flowers n gifts as I was pretty rich that time n I love her so dearly...We kissed again on Valentine's Day..I bought her a ring and I told her how much I love her...She bought me a black jacket which I m still using now.  She even eloped with me to run away from her very protective mother just to be with me.  She stayed in my house for two full weeks and I neglected my work, but I dun care...cos I had found the one...Her Malaysian mother threatened to report police if she dun return..Finally, her mum pretended to give in n asked her to bring me to visit her in Malaysia.  We will overjoyed!  I tot we can be together finally...I was wrong...Catherine's passport was confiscated once we reached there on 20th May 2003.  Her mum is a fucking liar!!!  I hate her.....She even beat her own daughter in front of me with a wooden pole..  Seeing my baby yelping in pain, my heart pain pain..Ouch!..I turned crazy n yell at her mum......Bad moves, End of Steven/Catherine fairy tales...   =(  Two lovers being torn apart forever.....since then, I never met her again... = ::(  20th August 1984 is Catherine's birthday..... This year's coming soon...  Thank you for leaving me..... such a memorable love story which I will never forget even I close my eyes for the very last time... Happy Birthday to you, Catherine...!





11 August 2005 0405hrs - Weilian, You and Your 5 legged Chicken rocks!!!!!!



Junyang is in big big trouble....Weilian, the guy who cannot see aka the Blindman, sang so well last night in Project Superstar (Fame/ Singing Contest).  People, I read people's face very well.... Junyang's expression showed me that he is not feeling too well that time.  His face like sianz sianz (half dying) like that   Even cute cute Weijian sang not bad.... Die le.. Oh my god...! Junyang might be kicked out this time!  Congratulation to Weilian!! Well done! You sing the two songs so darn well, my whole big body is swaying...left..right...n tears gently gathered around my lids..sniff touching!  When u finished singing each song, wah lau!!!!!!!! so so so so so nice!!!!!!!!!!  NOTE: Teacher Weisong says you look damn dashing in shades(sunglass)...  Wrong wrong wrong wrong!!!!!!!!!!!  You look terrible n it is so not u..Really like Chao ah beng ( meaning fashionable hooligans in Mandarin)..we love u becos you are approachable wif ur nice eyes...I really hate your shades man! Smash them, screw them or let WeiSong wears it instead.  If you want to win, continue to sing well...n we will vote for u....!!!!!  Wee Wee, Weilian, U rockz!  Happy??? supports u all the way!!!!!!! = D



Some jokes for all of goes...




This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Everything checked out fine.
The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, "Doctor, I haven't had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband's sex drive."

The doctor smiled and said, "Have you tried to give him Viagra?"

The lady frowned. "Doctor, I can't even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache," she claimed.

"Well," the doctor continued, "Let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won't notice a thing."

The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor's office quickly.

Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head.

"How did it go?" the doctor asked.

"Terrible, doctor, terrible."

"Did it not work?"

"Yes," the old lady said, "It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I'd had in 25 years."

"Then what is the problem, ma'am?"

"Well," she said. "I can't ever show my face in McDonald's again."






07 August 2005 0328hrs - Beauty, Basketballer n a Marble King



Fate brings people from all walks of life into your life.  Some become your best buddies, some r good listeners and some just purely acquaintances.  Recently, two sweet angles barge into my life..One is a guy( S) another is a girl (H).  I hate them so much because they are freaking nice to me. Everyday, they will ask me out for dinner, supper and 3am breakfast.  They are as crazy as I m, but we are cuckoo birds of the same feathers.  I met both of them during some part time acting together. The girl was damn gorgeous with no chest. (Changi Airport can consider flying Boeings there), but good enough to make me n the guy went gaga over her.  She always like to act cute n ask us," M I CUTE...?"  Every time she did that, my saliva will choke me n I feel like spraying my mouthful of chicken rice rite at her face.  Me n the guy almost decide at the same time, " The girl belongs to me!" But it was not tough, the girl ask us out almost everyday, but I think she likes the guy better.  Once, we stayed overnight at S's house playing truth or dare. The loser will have to reveal the truth or b cursed to b knocked down by lorries.  We asked ultimate deadly question like, wat the most evil thing we had done, lame questions like how many people we had bedded b4.  The guy cheated!!!!  He asked H," Wat is your favorite fruit?"  Wah lau!!! (Oh my God in mandarin)  It was so fun, ending up the game, we tried to catch some sleep wif me n H laying on the same tiny bed (kicking the host to sleep on the floor), but we haf no evil tots as it was all so platonic. The guy was a national basketball player n i m juz a marble king, destined to lose.  BUT I CANNOT LOSE!!  The gal is a famous movie star n commercial model, I simply dun wanna make things easy oso for the guy.  I competed wif the guy in 6 games of basketball in front of the H at 3am in the morning n i was so talented to lose all 6.    %$##@$$##$$$!!!!!!!  Wat a disgrace!!  Next time, I will challenge the guy in a marble game n i swear to win all his marbles.  Below is the cute cute pic wif the girl.  She is so cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! = D~~~  (Note:  even if you know her...ssssshhhhhhhhh)






30 July 2005 0452hrs - Project Superstars - My pick for the two final males standing



I love watching Project Superstar in Channel U!  It is so addictive that almost all my family members stood by the TV catching telecast of the singing contest.  We are glued! Damn it!  PS (Project Superstars) format is good.  It copied the right elements from Singapore Idol by having the revival round, which is so damn exciting!  Derrick Hoh Weijian may possibly be the male winner.  Seriously Derrick is good, looks very cute, stylish, sing very well (almost zero pitching probs), and possess high marketability potential to overseas Market.  Hong Jun Yang sings very well (almost zero pitching probs) too but very seriously, he looks like Huang Zi Jiao, the famous Taiwanese host joker.  The guy who is blind, Tan Wei Lian, may be the dark horse in the race as well.  He sings well with very unique emotions most of the time, sometimes forget abit lyrics here and abit pitchy there.  I support him very much for his voice but  there r definitely sympathy votes for him.  Explanation:  He is blind but he sings well.  I really afraid that for that, he will emerge as champ. (Real appreciation votes + sympathy votes = unbeatable)  Who knows?! For Jason Tan Kok Kian, he sings well but appear bland in comparison to the other three.  The final male winner will then fight with the final female winner for the champ.  Seriously, no need to fight...  The fairer sex department is seriously not good enough!  I have seen better singers in Karaoke lounges n the girls are prettier n legs are longer.  The best female probably being Kelly Pan Jia Li, I strongly support her looks, sing ok ok but definitely there are rooms for improvement on her singing.  During the first semi-finals, all the female finalists lost keys here and there.  I am not being malicious here ok??  But, but, but, but, but.......and but... nevermind.... My pick for last two guys standing:  Derrick and Jun Yang      I think Jason may exit first, then Weilian will bow out next.  Note:  I am perhaps not a good singer myself, but I m a pretty good judge.  Soon, I m going to place videos of me singing karaoke right at this blog.  The first song will be "Jiang Nan".  Be sure to come back to comment on my singing!  Good Night!  Support local TV productions!





16 July 2005 0210hrs - The National Kidney Foundation Incident



Past one week was really colorful.  CEO of NKF, T.T. Durai wanted to sue Straits Times for causing them to lose huge amount of donations due to the Straits Time's report that he drew high salary(S$25,000 per month) n  up to 12 mths of bonus, his office suite fitted with gold plated water pipe, taking first class air flight direct from all the donations collected from the public.  Reports shows n finally he also confessed that the current donation storage can actually subsidize n help the current patients up to 40 years. Durai retracted his law suit and admit the report was just.  Maybe Straits Times was just being candid by reporting the facts.  Some Singaporeans were so furious they cancel their monthly NKF donation from bank.  Online petitions was set up to down the Board n seek for more transparency of the usage of the donations.  NKF walls was sprayed with words of disgrace one fine day.  That is the last straw.  T.T. Durai n his board of Directors decided to step down.  Virtually all the staff of NKF cried when Durai announced the stepping down.  Something to probe: If a person is so unworthy n useless in an organization, will you even shed a tear?  Interviews with the staff suggest that Durai is a very dedicated CEO n trainer.  He was 24/7 kind of guy n ensure all events run smoothly.  He only took one off day when his father died!  Only the staff knows wat kind of person he really is.  HEY, Singaporean, wake up!  As a head of a huge organization n with so many things to manage, earning $25,000 per month is to his credit.  There is one proverb, if you pay peanut, u get monkeys!  You want a joker to run your country???!! Yes? Ok, pay him peanuts!  Trust me, if you ask our  respectable Prime Minister to accept $2000 monthly income to run Singapore which also comes from our income tax, he may as well take a office job in orchard road n enjoy a good weekend off.  With PM Lee Hsien Loong, Singapore is strong n athletic.  Great powers comes with great responsibilities.  Durai brings in earnings to NKF, he should be entitled a good bonus.  Nothing is free ok!  He is only human being.  Like us, he wants to live well, eat well, have good sex life and enjoy 1 life.  WHY THE HELL SHOULD WE BE JEALOUS!?  If we are so capable, we are running NKF now! I seriously  think Straits Times are Lord of the Rings.  You people are so powerful to create a national event which cause an eventual step down of the NKF board that is why I fear and respect u so much.  I hope you can revive capable T.T. Durai back to his post n on the other hand, ensure more transparency of the system.  I seriously sympathize with Durai.  He is like a national criminal now! So poor thing!





07 July 2005 0220hrs - Shaping Evelyn Ng's Eyebrows & Meeting Daphne Khoo in person



Lucky lucky me!  Within two straight days, I work with two well known celebrities in Singapore.  The day before, "Light Years" lead actress Evelyn Ng n her fellow host friend, Kat casually walked past Orchard Road.  I immediately single her out as an actress but I just could not recall where I saw her.  I pretend not knowing her n sell my pitch to her to convince her to let me shape her eyebrows.  She says "yes" without any hesitation. (Must be due to my unstoppable charm).  I could not believe my luck n ready to impress her with my experienced eyebrow shaping.  She is indeed beautiful, but she is very petite.  A gust of wind may even break her spine.  All guys will definitely rush to protect her spine from breaking.  Sorry, guys, that is my job!  Ha ha.. When I was doing her eyebrows, her naturally nice pouted lips keep on distracting me as I  keep wondering what is wrong with them.  They are so small but perky.   But I must say that she n her friend r really nice people.  They liked my eyebrow shaping.  They politely asked me if I am gay.  I earnestly replied them I am totally straight..  I really hope they believed me.  Sigh..Let me repeat, readers, I m not gay!  I pretend to ask for autographs out of courtesy because I want them to feel honored.  But end up surprisingly, they push each other to take pic with me.  Wow, even better!  Add credits to my experience!  Then, the day after that, I was invited by some budding Mass Com students from Ngee Ann Polytechnic for a student project TV interview.  They invited powerhouse Daphne Khoo from Singapore Idol as well. (now a year 1 mass com student in NP too).  They initially wanted to invite Jeassea Thyidor to the show, but could not get her.  I was pretty sad cos I will miss Jeassea's cowboy style!  But I liked Daphne immediately once I saw her.  She is not exactly beautiful but she is damn cute like a puppy n her Caucasian-accent English turns people on.  How I wish I can speak like her!  This young lass even sings with the host when crews are busily adjusting the lightings.  I wanted to join in the singing, but was embarrassed to ask what song is that.  Thinking to myself whether they will be impressed if i sing "Twinkle Twinkle little stars" or think that I m a retard?  I decided to keep my mouth shut to save any silly embarrassment.  Interview was fine, ending with a big bang!  Both of us were treated to a big pic-taking session where students pose with us.  Celebrity treatment!! I love it.  Thanks, NP mass com!  Special thanks to Director Terence, Production Manager Say Wee n Host, Joanna!  If you are reading this, Daphne, I really appreciate your talents.  Pls contact me if you are interested to carry out the international special project with me.







28th June 2005 2325hrs - Taxi Driver caught for causing handsome motorbiker's death



Top news these few days are really peculiar..All about accidents.  Today, I will be talking about the top second news.  Ranking 1st runner up top news is the taxi- motorcycle racing accident.  Winner of the race is the taxi driver.  Congrats for out-beating the motorcyclist in the race n being caught for causing death to the motorcyclist, apprehended for man-slaughter.  Poor thing both of you.  I felt terribly sorry for both of you. Both of you wanna claim the King of road.  The rider wanna squeeze between cars to be at the front of the red lights.  The taxi-driver refused to give way n tried to block his path.  The rider stared angrily at the driver.  Green light up, race begins.  The bike tried to overtake the taxi.  Taxi moved even faster...In the end, the driver did a very stupid thing.  According to the lady passenger, just as the bike almost cross the taxi's tail, the driver swerved to the biker's lane and swerved back with the intention of scaring its competitor.  It works, bike lost control, both rider n pillion rider flew like birds n landed like eggs on rocks.  Rider went heaven, his fiancée suffered light injury.  I wanna emphasize one thing.  The rider is a handsome guy that die young due to a moment of rashness.  He seriously should not stare n chase the taxi.  The stupid taxi driver should also not be playful to scare him causing an innocent death of a handsome guy!  I seriously think charging him for man-slaughter is too extreme already.  It needs two hands to clap.  Both parties definitely have to urge to win.  But if I m the judge, I definitely will give the taxi-driver 1 month jail n a heavy fine.  The idea is to teach him to learn his lesson to remain cool n avoid this kind of tragedy to happen again.   But hey, the lady passenger in the taxi is too pretty already.  This usually cause male driver to go nuts n try to impress.  I have personal experience before.  I'll turn more aggressive on roads with a hot chick behind me.  Dun believe, u go and check the papers to check out the chick.  Note: (the lady passenger proclaims that the taxi driver was driving crazily for 15mins in out of lanes <==== trying to impress, trust me)  I, myself is a road user being a motorbiker.  It really saddens me that this kind of thing should happens.  My deepest condolences to the biker's family n I sincerely wish the taxi driver plenty of luck.  I really wish that he will get an understanding yet impartial judge for the trial.  I personally think that the taxi driver is not totally at fault but he should pay for his folly!  ( Please kindly spread this blog around n hope that eventually it will reach the judge.)  Verdict out:  Cab driver awarded 4 years jail sentence n driving life-ban.




20th June 2005 0216hrs - How deep is your love?




I just read a terrible news a few days ago and the news keep me following up. A female severed naked Chinese National's body was found.  Body parts were thrown at different areas.  With the efficiency of the police force, the body was identified and the suspect was caught just within 10 hrs.  The intriguing part is that it was her supervisor in a factory where she worked as an operator.  Girl was 22, n the guy is 50.  He is married n it is a hearsay that they are together.  She was perhaps murdered n chopped to 7 pieces.  Clean dedicated chops of a like-wise butcher left no blood on the body parts.  Wat said above does not really excite me, wat caught me is the man was a very loving husband, father whom everyone respects?!  Can you believe it?  A responsible father gone a strayed with another woman, and killed her.  I cannot believe it too.  His wife also cannot believe it, keeps crying and crying.  Really poor thing.. Pls dun be too sad already, Madam.  (Steven thoughtfully offered her two pieces of Watson's tissue.  One for her red teary eyes, another for her red nose )  She trusted him so much.  The point is  human sux.. Humans are greedy in a way.  One is always not enuff n prone to controlled by greed, lust and emotion.  Remember the time you still want one more scoop of ice-cream?  Tat is greed!!!!!  You have sinned!!  You sux!  My male friend lost his fiancée for 7 years to a total stranger just like that..  The thought of getting married frightens me.  Now you know why I m still an eligible bachelor.  Ask yourself this question for those who are attached or married. "Have you given your partner 100% of devotion?"  Meaning for eg., you got one bed at home.  One day, you went to a furniture shop, and saw a new bed.  It seems very comfortable, and you think," will it feels if I slept on it for a while?"  You see, the thought already jeopardize the fate of your bed at home. 100% devotion?  Steven shakes his head sadly.  An evil thought already dismissed the 100.  Sometimes, I think to myself.  A girl will be so lucky if she is my girlfriend.  I m pure, angelic n will stay 100% devoted to my gf.  I wun even look at another other girls beside her.  Hard to get - True hunk + 100% devotion = Steven Lim






13th June 2005 2250hrs - Better looks mean better future?



Recently, I read about an article about better looks linking to better future.  After reading the interesting article, I pondered to myself.  Does looks really matter so much?  Firstly, I cannot deny is when looking for a girlfriend, I tend to go for looks first.  She needs not be as pretty as Japanese Actress Sora Aoi, but must be at least somewhere near her range.  N i m not talking about a pretty face only.. Figure must be good too.. then complement with her jovial n spirited nature..  u may be lucky to get 8/10 points girlfriend.  But tell me, how many times we can be so lucky to get a babe as girlfriend, answers is yes u can....wait long long...  From my records, it is really a mixture of either good character or just plain good lookers.  You cannot have your cake and eat it too...sigh...Some of them were super ultra good figure but they will look good if their faces were covered.. Till now, I m still trying to find a place on her face I can really flatter.  But i failed!!!!  When they asked me," Darling, which part of my face do u like best?"  I will try to divert attention,"Wow! Nice hairclip!" or " like your..  er...."   Then, cold sweats breaks out... Then, she will be angry if there is no answer... sigh...being a nice boyfriend is tough nowadays.. My country's Prime Minister, Mr. Lee Hsien Loong for example is a very handsome and charming guy.  Seldom u see a guy still remain so powerful at 50 years old.  Plus Plus is he speaks well too.  When he speaks, people lights up and listen.  He is definitely a chip off the old block from Singapore's Father, Mr. Lee Kuan Yew which built Modern Singapore.  I really cannot imagine a nation's head who speak well but look hideous!  It is useless!  Even our previous Prime Minister, Mr. Goh Chok Tong looks cute with his spects.  I can even make a oath that someone even call him sexy during one National Day Rally Speech..  That no comments... Bottom line, looks n quality are really important.  You can never lose any of these....Phew..!  .Luckily, God had been very kind to me.  I have good looks + talents!     hee......... = P






6th June 2005 1411hrs -  Cheap sumptuous meal yesterday!!



I had a very simple off day yesterday.  I took my friend for a spin in my Benelli Adiva (motorbike with roof).  We prayed hard for rain, but Uncle heaven dun give us rain to test our sheltered bike.  I desperately also want to use my windscreen wiper.  But with the current installed fan and audio player, sitting in the bike was rather comfortable.  The only complaint is that the scooter is pretty slow.  After a few round to the city then back again, we decided to spend the rest of our off day laying in bed n practically do nothing.  It is a joy to lay n do nothing during off days.  You know, the feeling of not wanting to move after one tired week.  Ha ha... = D  Then we decided to go to a coffee house near my block for a hearty good restaurant meal.  I ordered my favorite spring onion crab, Szechuan hot n spicy soup and Spicy Toufu.  The crab was small with thick shell, but hey, it is damn fleshy!  I think the crab trained in a gym b4 it was caught. The rest of the two dishes were yummy too!  One funny thing was tat the crab right hand is bigger than its left.  Then, I joked that the crab must be a right-hander.  Ha ha...  Then, my friend said that luckily he is not a crab.  Accident may happen when he is peeing n doing himself.  My friend still wants to be a father, u see.. Hahahhaa.. that is funny... Ouch ouch...  Crab-  SIN$15   Szechuan Soup - $6    Spicy Toufu - $6    Eating a sumptuous dinner n talking cock with my good friend-  priceless         Zoom.......! I sent my friend home with my Honda Phantom motorbike....quick n good feel! 





2nd June 2005 1302hrs - Having too many girlfriends before      Real story told by Melvin



You may not believe it, my friend...I have many girlfriends before.  Too many before n some relationships too short and too unmemorable, that I lost count of the exact number.  But it will still range between 13 to 15.  Wow right when you know that i even have to use my toes to count??  I sometimes also ask myself what have I achieve from each relationship.  Me becoming a better lover or listener..? Ok Ok..i admit it...I do look gay...but I am 100% as straight as an arrow.  My character is even tougher..I m a very competitive person.  As I said just now, 13 -15 relationships right?  5 of them are really serious with the longest being 2 yrs..  The rest of the girls some of them virtually throw themselves to me.. Eg.  First date..  The 16 years old cute girl was really acting weird, pulling my bag's straps wherever I go, n getting really close to me, like those adorable puppies you see in pet's shop wanting your love n attention.   Well, I am of cos a person full of love.  Some of them r fat, some thin, tall, well endowed.. Some relationships are like plain water with extreme quiet girls, some of them r like red hot chilli pepper.  My observation is humans acted differently under influence of basic instinct.  Girls r also human.  When they are really thirsty, they simply want it.  No matter how beautiful n how pure a girl appears to be, she lost it behind closed doors.  Little kids are real, they dig their nose infront of people..Do you still tell people now when was your last time u dig it?  We r masked. sigh...  Sometimes when u r doing nothing, the images of the 5 exes will pop up one by one..Wat r they doing now?  Hope that their current bfs treat them right..wish them happiness.Wat if we are still together?..If you are in a relationship right now, is it wrong or right to still miss them again?  The times I spent with each and everyone of them in my favorite Suntec shopping mall..Hugging them tightly n doing French kisses.  I started from complete kiss idiot to supreme Jedi Master..  My cupboard was filled with plentiful of self-made love cards and poems...All I know was once love and dedications to Mr. Steven Lim..





31st May 2005 0330hrs - Stupid Steven!



One word....... Sianz diao...!(Bored till bird can drop off in Mandarin)  I am really scolding myself now.  I have been trying to save money these two months for future use (marriage, housing, dating blah blah blah), but just within two days, I spend thousands of dollars to buy another bike (Benelli Adiva).  Legal ownership was transferred yesterday with insurance and road tax, u can virtually see me banging my walls now!!  Steven Lim!!! Wake up ok!  Work so hard n waste so much!  Now I got two crazy bikes!!!!  One is my current trusty 150cc Honda phantom which are really really fast n sturdy.  My latest Adiva is also a 150cc but it is so so damn damn big big heavy heavy.  It is very beautiful, looks damn expensive (it is indeed), with shelter for bad weather protection, windscreen wiper, ability to install cd player n radio too, have been eyeing it since 3 years ago. But it is damn bloody slow...Kaoz! (Oh my God in Mandarin n slapping my forehead repeatedly)  Singapore government gives us 90km/hr speed limit in highway, n I always respect traffic regulations.  At 80km/hr, it is already tell me "Wait for me!"  80km/hr???!!!!  Normally, I asked people to eat my dust with my phantom.  Now when did I start to collect dust myself?! An Lau Ah Pek (old uncle, one leg in coffin type in Mandarin) with a small bike even overtook me with ease.  Arrrgghh..!  Really cannot take it, lose to even an ah pek.  Really no pride!  For people that enjoy safer, slower carefree ride with good taste, who dun squeeze in between cars, this Adiva is definitely for you!  The shelter design n the big compartment boot guarantees heads turn where every you go.  Willing to sell the Benelli Adiva  at $4000 only!!!! Any takers call me at 93857300.  Picture of my silver Adiva click here.



29th May 2005 1423hrs- How to save yourself from Tsunami!



Damn it! Wat a weather! Raining so heavily outside, trapped in the wretched room of mine. Riding motorbike in wet ground very sick one.Water reminds me of Tsunami last December. The giant sea waves took plenty of lives in affected countries and after reading enuff articles n news,  I wanna teach you how to protect yourself from this terrible catastrophe. 1. Watch out of extreme low tide of the sea.  Before it comes, it will displayed a very strange low tide that it stretches miles away.  Big tide will comes half and hour or so!!!  Run!!!  2.  The ants and small creatures on land will scattered in big troop b4 it comes.  Being small n sensitive to vibration, they have a good feel of wat is coming.  Next time, treat ants n crock coaches with respect.  I always let them run freely in my room n dun mind them sharing my bread crumbs I dropped.  =) 3.  Run to higher ground if you are in low areas. 4.  If you are too late to run and the stupid waves capsize you. Swim inwards to dry areas n dun stop flapping till u r safe!  I am really fortunate that I live in Singapore where there are no earthquakes and Tsunami.  There are poor widows who r still waiting for their fisherman husbands to return from fishing.. I sincerely think the men also want to return but the big waves simply dun allowed. =( God bless.....


28th May 2005 - Animal Abuse!!!



I just saw a video clip about a poor kitten being abused n killed in the end.  Really cruel is the murderer! It shows a man carrying out a kitty from a fruit card box, and pretend to give it love and care by stroking it on its back like;"hey, i am your friend..dun worry..i wun harm you" The next instant, he tried to squeeze it into a super mini cage meant for hamsters.  The cat struggled but really cannot make it.  The man then brought it to the open wild, pouring kerosene and gasoline on the poor kitten in cage.  The kitten sensed that something is wrong, and imagine itself as David Copperfield, trying to find ways to escape.  Finally, before it can even find a way, the man lighted a match and threw it to the cage.  Man, I tell is total fireball..All you see is fire in cage!  The cat was so in pain that it did not even yell...Till the very end, it let off a dying shriek... We can hear plenty of laughter at the background celebrating the achievement.  If I have the chance, I will put the man in cage n throw a candle in, I swear upon it!  Wat's left in the end is a charred cat's body.  Stop animal abuse now before i abuse you!




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